Chihuahua vs Doberman

Can you believe this little wimp was too scared to snatch the bone from that ogre? I would've had that bone in my mouth before you could say "boo". It's all in the attitude, people.

I'm Baaack!

I miss journaling. Of course, mom has to bring my thoughts to life since my delicate paws are not equipped for the mundane task of typing. Pack leaders never perform menial labor, anyway. Where has she been lately, you ask? I can't prove it, but I suspect she has been doing her own journaling at my expense. Well, that's about to change. I do have a life and I want it reported!

For instance, today mom came home and completely threw me off schedule by going straight to the computer instead of to the refrigerator. I was aghast! 'What, no dinner?' I pleaded with my eyes. She continued to ignore me and type on the computer, while I sat there starving. Finally, an hour later she went downstairs and heated up a can of chicken and dumplings which has been our standby all week, and I must admit, it is yummy. For dessert we had a Nutty Buddy - that's my favorite part. Unfortunately, it's also the favorite of Izzy, Chance and Spenser. By the time mom divides the last little bit into four sections, it's hardly worth salivating for.

See, I do have important things going on in my life.

Well, that's enough thinking for one day; I need another nap.

Post Christmas Update

Merry post Christmas, my pawesome pup pals! I hope everyone's day was fantastic!

Moi? My joyous holiday spirit quickly dissipated yesterday when Spenser destroyed the new stuffed toy Izzy and I received for Christmas. He made mince meat out of it in no time flat. It was blue and soft and squeaky. Izzy and I had just been playing tug-of-war with it not an hour before. I would love to be able to exact revenge by shredding his new bone to bits, but since that's impossible, I will continue my verbal lashings every time he comes near me or Mom. Watching him flinch when I lunge at him with my teeth bared gives me great pleasure. *insert diabolical barks here*

The humans bought themselves a stupid video game called Guitar Hero III. Instead of cuddling with me, Mom straps a guitar around her chest every night for hours. What's up with that? It's a cold piece of plastic and it's annoyingly loud. But like a good dog, I keep her spot on the couch warm until she eventually puts the noisy game away.

Izzy has begun sleeping with Mom and me at night. My space is right beside Mom's pillow, so when she tried to venture into my territory, I would emit a low warning growl. She eventually got the message and now has her own spot next to Mom's leg. I think I can live with that. Izzy is pretty cool and she's kinda cute with that tongue hanging out all the time. It's the two big goons that get on my last nerve.

Well, I hope to update my diary more often in the coming year. I miss it here.

I WON!

After months of waiting, it has finally been confirmed that I won a contest to be featured at the end of the Firehouse Dog movie! That's right; my handsome mug will be shown during the closing credits. My big break has finally arrived - woof woof! To think I was worried that Leo's sauciness would win them over, or that Spenser and Chance would sway them with their thick, red coats. I should have had more faith in my cuteness. Look at me now - Hollywood bound! I must get into shape quick in case Speilberg or Oprah come calling!

Life Changes

Hi pals! I know it has been quite some time since mom has helped me update my diary. Too many things going on I guess.

My mansion was disassembled about a week ago and I am now placed in a cage when they leave the house. *gasp* Mom said I had too much room in my mansion, which caused me to have accidents. She was tired of washing the bedding. So far, I am doing well in the crate. I have proven to mom that I can "hold it" all day long! Mom is very proud of me.

Another thing that occurred is that I am now becoming a woman, if you get my drift. Mom says as soon as I am over my "ladies days" I will go to the vet and get spayed. She tries to make it sound like it's no big deal, but I'm not so sure. "Ladies days" are not much fun though!

Happy New Year!

My new year is going pretty well so far. Mom took down the big tree and placed all the tempting ornaments in boxes. I tried to help, but was shooed away each time. I decided to watch the entire spectacle from the safety and comfort of daddy's lap.

Since my mom was away taking care of her mom for new year's, I celebrated with daddy. We watched tv and drank champagne. Actually, daddy drank it and I enjoyed the bubbles on my nose.

Mom is back now and boy how I missed her! She has the softest lap and she plays tennis ball with me until I am exhausted. My eyelids get droopy which causes Daddy to say "I see sand man coming Izzy" and shortly thereafter, I am sound asleep.

HO HO HO! Hum

Hey everybody! It's been a while. Let's see...I'm still waiting for the walking regimen to happen. When the humans start a new year I might have a chance then for a firm, slim bod. Mom says we are just too busy to entertain such ideas at the moment, but starting in 2007, we will work our buns off.

Tonight, mom and dad are having guests over, which means that we will be treated like second class citizens. The guests are not "dog people" whatever that means! Mom will be extra nice to us afterwards and give me more treats than anyone else I bet. Well, a pooch can dream, can't he?

On Christmas Eve we will have mom's kids over. Leo and Callie will be there too! That will make 5 dogs and 6 people. Quite a zoo when we're all together. The great thing about them is that they ALL love dogs - especially us. We get lots of attention and treats. Last party had a few of us canines licking the insides of the wine glasses. Now that was a par-TAY!

Merry Christmas everyone. I love all my pup pals and wish them the best Christmas and New Year!

Merry Christmas Y'all!

During my first year on this planet, I've learned a lot. For one thing the humans get snippy with me when they find poop on the carpet. Somehow they know it belongs to precious little me. Their snippiness intensifies when they discover tee tee. Sorry, but I've got a bladder the size of a grain of rice. What do they expect? When a girl has to go, she's got to go! When possible, I still make my deposits next to the nearest toilet. I think that's pretty considerate, don't you?

Another thing the humans have done lately is to erect a bushy tree - in the living room of all places! Shortly afterwards, mom hung these shiny gold toys on nearly every branch, yet I am not allowed to sniff or touch them. If I go near the dangly things just to sniff, I hear "IZZY! NO!" Then they mutter something about "foreign body surgery". Mom working at the vet place sure puts a damper on my lifestyle.

I've decided that I really like TV. Seriously, I sit on my favorite lap (it changes from day to day) and watch along with my human parents. I've noticed that the shows daddy watches cause him to yell things like "GET HIM! RUN! GO! GO! GO!" Mom watches things that have other animals or music or people that make her face get wet. What is that all about? Hey, I like to lick the tears, so I'm not complaining, just sayin'.

Well, I want to wish all my pup pals the best Christmas evah and a happy, healthy new year!

Obedience Training?

I am now a student at Four Paws Training. This involves a very loud clicking noise followed quickly by a treat. I'm not too sure what I am supposed to be doing, but they keep saying I will figure it out in time. Also, I'm perplexed why I need to be trained since all I do is play with my humans or sleep on their laps.

Mom and I are supposed to practice clicking and treating during the week. Specifically during commercials. My trainer gave mom a softer sounding click since the other one startled me so badly. It was really loud!

My boisterous housemates think that every time mom clicks, they should receive a treat too. Pardon me, but I think they're supposed to do something to earn it first. Humph! I am working my buns off trying to figure out what to do to get the treat and they need to do the same. Fair is fair.

My coat is not coming in very thick for the winter so I am forced to wear clothing. Unfortunately, there is nothing that really fits me properly. The tee shirt I was forced to wear for my first day of class was hanging off of me and didn't do anything to warm me up. It was soooo embarrassing! Mom needs to learn how to sew or look harder for xx-small.

Eureka!

Guess what I figured out? When the humans fail to recognize my signals that I need to perform #2, I run to the nearest toilet and leave my poopies right next to it. This makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Isn't that what the humans use this cold, white contraption for? I believe this exhibits a great deal of intelligence, decorum and resourcefulness on my part. Now, if I could just straddle the seat without falling in and drowing, I might be THE smartest canine anyone ever knew. Besides that, I'd never have to deal with the wet and cold again!

Plugging Along

Mom has come up with a new nickname for me and dare I say it is not very flattering. In fact, I may require therapy soon to deal with the emotional scars. She calls me Rump Roast. Actually, she says, “Come here my little rump roast with legs.” She tries to disguise her insult in that sing-song voice, but she’s not fooling me. T-Bone is a more masculine reference, which I would be more than happy to respond to. But, rump roast? I have decided that I will not respond to that unless she is referring to a large piece of meat cooking on the stove and is about to give me a big juicy taste.

“Exercise” is another word that keeps cropping up in conversation lately. She calls us both pudgy and claims that a good walk around the neighborhood every day will cure our stoutness. So far, all we’ve done is discuss the matter for several days. I am patiently waiting for her to actually open up the cabinet door which houses my leash. If I knew how to open that door, I would take the leash out and bring it to her myself because it appears that we’re going to be in the talking stages for a good while.

Popcorn is the Bomb!

Apparently, it is frowned upon if you jump into a fresh, steaming bowl of popcorn. Yep, dove head first. Mom yelled my name really loudly and then yanked me out tout de suite. It was so warm and smelled oh-so-yummy. What did I do wrong?

Life is Beautiful

Greetings pup pals! I wanted to update everyone on my latest developments – with mom’s help of course.

First, I now weigh a hefty 2¼ pounds! My health and weight are improving every day. More importantly, my sarcoptic mange is clearing up, so there is less scratching. My white coat is getting thicker too, which is a plus.

The horrid vaccine process is almost over. Due to my size I must get vaccines in small increments. Next weekend will be my 4th and last time to undergo this monotonous, painful process. I’m glad my mom knows a doctor who is familiar with extra small puppies. There has been some side talk lately about something called a “spay”, but mom says I have to weigh over 5 pounds before that can happen. If I watch my calories, perhaps I will never have to find out what spaying entails. It doesn’t sound pretty. I think they butcher you. *gasp!*

In other news, my palate has become quite discriminating. I no longer lap things up just because they are waved under my nose. For instance, the bright pink Amoxy medication was palatable a couple of weeks ago, but I was recently prescribed Clavamox, a white liquid, which is intensely bitter. Lately, I have chosen to fight mom and dad on this issue, practically swiveling my head around in a complete circle to avoid the foul concoction. Well, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration. At any rate, they always manage to get it down my throat despite my vehement protests.

I am starting to realize that I don’t have much of a chance fighting these large, strong human parents. I do, however, have a weapon at my disposal that I use as often as possible: my large, black eyes. When I give them the super sad look, I make sure my ears are laid back, which accentuates my eyes. This look has proved successful in almost everything except getting out of taking medicine. It has even afforded me a few tiny morsels of human food. I think Sparky’s big black eyes are what caused him to get so fat, so I’m still weighing whether or not I should employ this pitiful look to get my way where food is concerned. I don’t want to end up looking like a pork roast with legs. Maintaining a girlish figure is of utmost importance.

Okay, this you will not believe: I can run all the way up the stairs by myself. The human parents didn’t even try to coax or teach me. One day, I just decided to go for it. The downfall is, I’m too afraid to come down. When the humans realize I’m missing, mom rounds the corner to look at the top of the stairs. Nine times out of ten she will find me up there waiting to be carried back down. I’m sure I will learn to do this myself eventually, but right now it is a very scary ordeal for me.

In essence, I'm exploring the world, growing by leaps and bounds, and developing a charming personality. One day I hope to be crowned Queen over these other large beasts I am forced to share my domicile with. They're nice enough, but sometimes can be a bit ill-mannered. Chance is least affected by my presence; he just sniffs a lot which can get annoying over time. Spenser barks (shouts) at me if I get too close. It's so loud it practically blows me across the room. Not to mention, it is unnerving to be playing and suddenly get shouted at. Sparky is very tempermental. I never know when he will be receptive to playing with me. That's okay because I will rule this pack one day. Very soon.

Backyard Invasion

I’ve discovered rabbits! A baby bunny rabbit to be precise. The best part is when you put one in your mouth, it squeals. The worst part is when mom runs towards me yelling at the top of her lungs. Only when I knew she was absolutely serious did I let go; however as soon as bunny hit the ground, Chance got it and he would not let go as quickly. Mom kept after him and he finally opened his mouth only to let Spenser get it! Well, Spenser is such a scaredy-cat; he immediately dropped it on the ground after mom yelled at him.

Mom looked like a maniac in the yard. It was quite comical watching her go round and round trying to save the little creature. Thankfully, bunny was only startled. The tiny critter sustained no injuries during the melee. Mom scooped it up into a plastic container and brought it to our dogless neighbor’s yard a few houses down.

Our backyard has never been so exciting! I can’t wait to go out now, even in this brutal Texas heat. In addition to my job guarding Izzy, I now have the added responsibility of keeping our turf free from invaders. Being the alpha dog is exhausting work, I gotta say!

Perils of Puppyhood

My new mom came home late last night smelling like lime mixed with something flammable. Humans sure put weird things in their mouths. It definitely put my smelling receptors in high gear, I tell ya!

After she put her jammies on, we snuggled in front of the computer. I love her silky jammies ‘cause there is a tiny rosebud on there that I like to chew on. Mom was clicking away at her desk with me snuggled in the blanket and before she knew what was happening, I began to choke. Fortunately, the episode lasted less than 2 seconds. Several minutes later, mom looked down and realized that the rosebud was gone. Uh-oh! She was so wrapped up in making her clicking sounds, she didn’t realize I had swallowed part of her jammies. Oops.

Sparky still guards my cage daily. He would guard me at night too, but mom shoos him out of my room. I’ll be glad when I am a big girl and can sleep under the covers with mommy. Sparky will probably hate it, but tough toenails. I am doing everything I can to get stronger and run with the big dogs. Pretty soon, I plan to dominate this motley crew.

A New Contraption

Mom is always bringing home something to complicate my life. This time, she came home with a miniature staircase. Confused? I was too at first, but soon enough her hideous intentions were revealed. Keep reading.

Assembly was required which caused mom’s voice to become irritated and use naughty words. Already, I hated this new thing. Nope, I didn’t want anything to do with an object that put mom in a bad mood. Once she was done, she placed it next to the bed and announced that it was for me. Huh? Little did she know that I had already decided to boycott this piece of............work.

Later that night she crawled into bed and waited for me. I looked at her, then looked at those stairs that she positioned next to the bed. She really expected me to climb that rickety thing to get to her. No thanks; I’ll think of some other way to get in. She coaxed and coaxed, patting the steps with her hand. “C’mon Sparky! Don’t look so sad. This will help you get into bed easier.” Well, what happened to her picking me up and placing me in the bed? That’s what I’d like to know. #@*!?&#!.

Before I knew it, she switched off the light. Oh, the cruelty, the injustice. Once my eyes adjusted, I did what any proud dog would do; I lunged at the bed over and over and over. Finally, mom got tired of hearing me thud against the side of the mattress and picked me up. Ah, sweet relief at last.

I hope I have made my point and will not be forced to go through that exercise again! I love my humans and all, but this is ridiculous!

Nothing Can Keep Me Down

Even though I was diagnosed with a respiratory infection and puppy dermatitis this weekend, it will not deter my mission in life, which is to romp happily from room to room of my new home. Yep, unless you tell people I am sick, they would never know it, except for the congested sound if you get really close.

Daddy asked if there were amphetamines in my antibiotic drops because after I lapped it up, I ran around the house like greased lightning. I even did my play bow gesture to each of the dogs. Spenser responded by emitting a low growl and giving a disgusted look, as if to say he is too mature for my childish games. Whatever! Chance placed his paw on me, very gently, which mom promptly swatted away. Hey mom! I asked him to play! Sparky gave me a sideways glance and proceeded to ignore me. That Sparky is hard to read. He's very protective, yet he doesn't want to play with me. When I get stronger, I am going to turn on all my girlish charms. Mom has also picked out some bling-bling for me to wear around my neck and a pretty pink outfit for when I get bigger. That'll get his attention.

After all my begging to play and running like a banshee around the house, I crashed and burned. I tried to fight sleep, but sleep finally won. I had a really good night's rest, so I can't wait until the humans return home today so I can show off some more.

Little Pink Presents

Today mom said she had to run an errand. Apparently she went shopping because she returned with several bags. Inside were 2 pink doggie beds and pink doggie toys. When she set the beds down to show daddy, I immediately jumped into the softest one and snuggled in. They laughed at me and said, "Sparky, you're too big for that bed and besides it's pink!" Why do I care what color it is?! So, I guess if it's pink, that means it's for Izzy. Yuck! Girls are icky! At least I rubbed my scent all over the new bed so she will be forced to think of me every time she gets in it. And my body fit perfectly in the space no matter what anyone says.

On to more serious matters. Izzy had to go to the doctor yesterday for an upper respiratory problem and something called Puppy Pyoderma, which is a mild skin infection. She had x-rays taken, as well as a thermometer shoved up her tiny bum. Mom said she screamed. Wish I could have been there for that. Hee hee. Izzy is on antibiotics and benedryl for 10 days. Next Saturday she may finally get her vaccines started. Oh, I hope mom will let me be there for that! I so deserve some gloat time.

Mom still calls me her baby and treats me the same as before; however, I no longer have exclusive time with her. I must share with the poopy girl puppy. I mean that literally by the way. She knows to use the newspaper for tee-tee, but she poops anywhere she feels like it. When mom and dad find her little presents, they only say, "Oh Izzy, your poop is smaller than a tootsie roll!" If I poop in the house I get reprimanded. I'm really surprised her poop is not pink.

My life at the moment is so unfair, but I still love my peeps. In the end, we're all part of a tight-knit pack. My main duty is to advise everyone of their place within the pack. This job can be exhausting at times, but someone has to be in charge.

More Izzy Issues

As I suspected, the new creature is taking up most of mom and dad's time. In order to make them aware of my displeasure, I put on the most pathetic face I can muster. All my efforts at protecting IZZY seem to make not a whit of difference to them. She was even given the best privilege of all: being on mom and dad's bed. Spenser tried to jump up and sniff her, so I lunged at him, showing my teeth. He stayed away too, further solidifying my high rank in the pack.

I understand that a small *ahem* dog like Izzy needs more attention than the rest of us. Mom says when she gets bigger, she will not have to spend as much time with her. I hope that is the case because I am quite put out with the entire situation. I'm a patient fellow, but if things don't go back to normal soon, I may have to start acting out. Maybe a pair of shoes will suddenly be destroyed, or the edge of a rug chewed up. I'm sure I can come up with something.

In other news, it is now a new season of Rock Star. Mom is obsessed once again. I'll be so happy when this TV show is over. My ears hurt. Why do humans have to play music so loud? I guess they're just human beings, being human. So glad that I'm a dog.

Cheers all and have a great weekend!

Operation: Izzy

It's now Day 3 of Operation: Guard Izzy. Quietly, yet firmly, I stand by her doorway day and night. I am taking these duties seriously and do not tolerate anything from my subordinates, Spenser and Chance. Izzy is very frail, and it is imperative that she receive top-notch attention. There is nothing that slips past me. I even take my naps right beside her crate, but never fall into a deep slumber. During my waking hours, I sit patiently, waiting for any infractions from my beastly brothers. When mom and dad finally secure her at night, I am relieved of my tasks for the day so that I may rest up for a new day of grueling guard duty.

This is now my life. I have accepted the tiny creature into our home with as much grace as possible. She is quite beautiful and small. Mom says she is a pooch, but I'm still not convinced of her lineage. Perhaps when she gets bigger, I will be convinced that she is truly a canine. Regardless, I am quite smitten with her, I must admit.

Well, off to bed for me. I see that Dogster will be shutting down for maintenance soon, and I need to get this posted before that happens. Nighty-night all my furry friends.