Monday, September 22, 2008

Daddy's Girl

Yes, it's true. I am enamored with my daddy. He's the number one human in my book. Mom never fails to remind me that SHE is the one who rescued me and that daddy didn't even believe I was a dog at first because apparently, I was the size of a hamster when they took me in. Clearly, she's just trying to jockey into the number one position. Sorry mom, I love you, but daddy is I think she's okay with that since bossy Spark Plug is her number one and vice-versa.

Speaking of Sparky, mom brought home two new toys yesterday; one for me and one for Sparky. That devilish scoundrel wanted both toys for himself! After he slobbered on mine, it was hardly palatable after that. I took one whiff of the foul odor he smeared on its soft fur and quickly lost interest. I expressed my displeasure by walking away and pouting. Greedy pig.

To add insult to injury, mom got into one of her photography moods, which would be okay, but she caught me during some of my worst moments, and I suspect it was intentional. I protested publication of these dreadful photos, but she insists, so here they are. Don't judge me.

New toy(s)!

Yesterday I received a brand new toy and I adore it! Mom tried to give Izzy one just like it and she rudely turned her nose up at it and walked away! I would never act in such a despicable manner towards mom. Izzy's rejected toy was given to me because I'm such a devoted, loyal companion.
Here I am having a delightful time. These are the perfect size. I can squeak them all day if I want. If I wear it out, there's a spare squeaker. Thanks, mom!

I really wish mom didn't have to document every detail of my life.

I am really trying to communicate with my expression to give me my space and she just doesn't seem to get it. *sigh*

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


Last night I was involved in a nasty altercation with Chance, the lesser beast of the pack. I was simply doing my job, ensuring the rules - my rules - were being obeyed. We had recently finished eating dinner with mom; dad had just arrived home, so I knew more crumbs were forthcoming. Chance was getting a little too chummy with dad too quickly which infuriated me. This was a clear attempt to usurp my authority and gain a higher position at my expense.

I warned him with a low, authoritative growl to back away, but the mulish creature ignored me! Insubordination from lower pack members is forbidden in my rulebook; therefore, I was forced to issue a harsher edict with a series of growls and lunges which meant, “Take another step and you’re going to regret it.”

Chance has always accepted his place within the pack, and while he might resist my commands at times, he usually concedes. Instead, he brazenly violated my last order, which gave me no other option but to hurl my entire body into him with full force. This action caused Chance to retaliate in a most violent manner, and before I knew it, he brutishly tossed me onto my back with his mouth, sinking his teeth into my neck. I struggled and fought to free myself from his surprisingly vicious attack. If dad had not been standing there, I may have drawn my last breath, right there by the stove, the appliance I treasure the most.

Once dad forced Chance to let me go, I walked slowly over to mom with the most pathetic look I could muster, a big tuft of Chance’s fur hanging from the corner of my mouth. I begged her with my eyes to defend my honor by flogging him in front of everyone. Instead, I received a very humiliating reprimand. I was informed that I am not the boss of anyone in the house, and furthermore, if I don’t mind my P’s and Q’s, I might not be so lucky next time. Humph! I don’t care what they say, I am chief dog around here!

I spent the entire day at the vet’s office getting the royal treatment. Dad even brought my cushy bed for me to loll around in. I had a very exciting day which helped put the whole ghastly experience behind me.