Christmas Greetings

Hello my canine amigos! I hope you all had a great Christmas season and were pawsomely blessed with lots of toys and treats. We didn't get anything....yet. My mom is going to personally take us to the pet store to pick out the gift of our dreams. Will keep you posted.
We had a ton of fun with our human family. By the end of the day, I was wiped out. That was really better than a new toy.

Christmas Laps

There were lots of laps to snuggle into and tons of food being consumed by the humans. Unfortunately, I barely got a crumb. But the laps and attention I received were pawsome! I hope all my furry friends had a great holiday.

Carbon Footprint?

Sparky dictated a blog post today about some claims that our Carbon Pawprint causes a danger to the earth. This is very upsetting news and mom is fighting mad. I don't really understand it all, but apparently, it takes a lot of farmland to raise the chickens and cows which end up in our dog food. Then we eliminate it later and supposedly cause another problem.

Well, excuse me for living.

Mom says not to worry. If the environmental whack jobs come for us they will be in for a big surprise. Not only will the humans risk life and limb for us, Sparky has pledged to protect us with his big, stinky teeth, so I feel pretty safe about the whole thing.

Besides, I'm a little bitty toot barely weighing in at 6 lbs, so I don't see how it's possible that I can do more damage than a SUV. Puh-lease!

My Carbon Pawprint

Okay, I think these environMENTALists have crossed the line. They are now saying that me and my canine amigos have a larger carbon footprint than a SUV. Are they kidding? I don't even have feet, I have paws, thank you very much. Besides, I don't even drive! How much damage can I really cause?

My mom is incensed about this whole matter. Besides the glaringly obvious error of using the term footprint, these "New Zealand researchers" claim that because I eat meat that goes into my dog food, that I should feel guilty for living because it takes too much farmland to feed me.

In my household we all try to be responsible about waste, but this is taking an issue way too far and then some. This must be that slippery slope mom always talks about. Before you know it we'll have to bottle our personal emissions (if you get my drift) in a jar and pay a tax on it. Sound ridiculous? At this point, nothing the government tries to tax would surprise us.

Look at this quote: "Any claims on the Earth's resources, whether it's having pets or having children, we need to think about. It doesn't necessarily mean getting rid of your pet now,” Lester Brown, president of the Earth Policy Institute, tells ABC.com.

What does he mean, NOW?! I hope Mr. Brown comes to our house because I will feel no remorse as I'm biting his ankles. If I could jump higher, I'd gladly bite something else. And those researchers...I'd really like to pass along my sentiments to them also. Hmph.

Just the Dip, Please

This is a public service announcement: I do not accept chips or crackers unless they have been dipped in sauce or cream cheese dip. I'm not picky on the dip — just dip it in something. Plain crackers are not palatable. You see, my taste buds have become more developed over the years thanks to all the human food sampling I've been *forced* to partake in. (tee hee)

You may now resume your regularly scheduled programming. Thank you.

Tonsillitis

This time of year does not agree with me. Still recovering from a ruptured disc, I developed tonsillitis last weekend. Not only did that mean another trip to see Dr. Fred in his house of horrors, I now have 2 foul-tasting medications added to my daily routine. I can't seem to catch a break.

Me and December started this nonsense last year when I was diagnosed with gastroenteritis. Shortly after that, I developed dermatitis. My problems seem to come in twos and end in "itis". These events usually occur in December and January, so hopefully I am done for a while.

Getting back to tonsillitis, did you know that too much plaque on your teeth can cause it? My mom and dad didn't even know dogs have tonsils, and my mom worked at a vet clinic for 6 years. Anyway, Dr. Fred scraped my teeth which caused me to become all un-ladylike, screeching like an undignified creature, not caring who heard me. He then suggested that I return in February (something about Pet Dental Health Month) to have a deep cleaning done. I hope the humans know that I am not interested in that, thank you very much. If they force me to go I will cause such a dramatic outburst, they'll wish we had all stayed home where we belong.

Frozen

My delicate chihuahua bones are frozen, and I'm not exaggerating. Just when my back was starting to feel better - kabam! - freezing cold air entered our atmosphere, chilling me to the bone. Because of this the humans try to dress me in ghastly clothing, even though I have voiced my displeasure on numerous occasions. My prefererence is to bury myself deep in the bedding and not come out until spring. Why won't this work? Bears do it.

Brrrrrr!

Cold, cold go away. Come again some other day! My chihuahua bones can't handle this. And the humans expect me to do my "business" outside. Hmph! Let's see how they fare when they have to walk outside in bare feet and stick their hineys out in this weather! I would LOVE to see that! Just once.