Thursday, August 24, 2006

Backyard Invasion

I’ve discovered rabbits! A baby bunny rabbit to be precise. The best part is when you put one in your mouth, it squeals. The worst part is when mom runs towards me yelling at the top of her lungs. Only when I knew she was absolutely serious did I let go; however as soon as bunny hit the ground, Chance got it and he would not let go as quickly. Mom kept after him and he finally opened his mouth only to let Spenser get it! Well, Spenser is such a scaredy-cat; he immediately dropped it on the ground after mom yelled at him.

Mom looked like a maniac in the yard. It was quite comical watching her go round and round trying to save the little creature. Thankfully, bunny was only startled. The tiny critter sustained no injuries during the melee. Mom scooped it up into a plastic container and brought it to our dogless neighbor’s yard a few houses down.

Our backyard has never been so exciting! I can’t wait to go out now, even in this brutal Texas heat. In addition to my job guarding Izzy, I now have the added responsibility of keeping our turf free from invaders. Being the alpha dog is exhausting work, I gotta say!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Perils of Puppyhood

My new mom came home late last night smelling like lime mixed with something flammable. Humans sure put weird things in their mouths. It definitely put my smelling receptors in high gear, I tell ya!

After she put her jammies on, we snuggled in front of the computer. I love her silky jammies ‘cause there is a tiny rosebud on there that I like to chew on. Mom was clicking away at her desk with me snuggled in the blanket and before she knew what was happening, I began to choke. Fortunately, the episode lasted less than 2 seconds. Several minutes later, mom looked down and realized that the rosebud was gone. Uh-oh! She was so wrapped up in making her clicking sounds, she didn’t realize I had swallowed part of her jammies. Oops.

Sparky still guards my cage daily. He would guard me at night too, but mom shoos him out of my room. I’ll be glad when I am a big girl and can sleep under the covers with mommy. Sparky will probably hate it, but tough toenails. I am doing everything I can to get stronger and run with the big dogs. Pretty soon, I plan to dominate this motley crew.

A New Contraption

Mom is always bringing home something to complicate my life. This time, she came home with a miniature staircase. Confused? I was too at first, but soon enough her hideous intentions were revealed. Keep reading.

Assembly was required which caused mom’s voice to become irritated and use naughty words. Already, I hated this new thing. Nope, I didn’t want anything to do with an object that put mom in a bad mood. Once she was done, she placed it next to the bed and announced that it was for me. Huh? Little did she know that I had already decided to boycott this piece

Later that night she crawled into bed and waited for me. I looked at her, then looked at those stairs that she positioned next to the bed. She really expected me to climb that rickety thing to get to her. No thanks; I’ll think of some other way to get in. She coaxed and coaxed, patting the steps with her hand. “C’mon Sparky! Don’t look so sad. This will help you get into bed easier.” Well, what happened to her picking me up and placing me in the bed? That’s what I’d like to know. #@*!?&#!.

Before I knew it, she switched off the light. Oh, the cruelty, the injustice. Once my eyes adjusted, I did what any proud dog would do; I lunged at the bed over and over and over. Finally, mom got tired of hearing me thud against the side of the mattress and picked me up. Ah, sweet relief at last.

I hope I have made my point and will not be forced to go through that exercise again! I love my humans and all, but this is ridiculous!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Nothing Can Keep Me Down

Even though I was diagnosed with a respiratory infection and puppy dermatitis this weekend, it will not deter my mission in life, which is to romp happily from room to room of my new home. Yep, unless you tell people I am sick, they would never know it, except for the congested sound if you get really close.

Daddy asked if there were amphetamines in my antibiotic drops because after I lapped it up, I ran around the house like greased lightning. I even did my play bow gesture to each of the dogs. Spenser responded by emitting a low growl and giving a disgusted look, as if to say he is too mature for my childish games. Whatever! Chance placed his paw on me, very gently, which mom promptly swatted away. Hey mom! I asked him to play! Sparky gave me a sideways glance and proceeded to ignore me. That Sparky is hard to read. He's very protective, yet he doesn't want to play with me. When I get stronger, I am going to turn on all my girlish charms. Mom has also picked out some bling-bling for me to wear around my neck and a pretty pink outfit for when I get bigger. That'll get his attention.

After all my begging to play and running like a banshee around the house, I crashed and burned. I tried to fight sleep, but sleep finally won. I had a really good night's rest, so I can't wait until the humans return home today so I can show off some more.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Little Pink Presents

Today mom said she had to run an errand. Apparently she went shopping because she returned with several bags. Inside were 2 pink doggie beds and pink doggie toys. When she set the beds down to show daddy, I immediately jumped into the softest one and snuggled in. They laughed at me and said, "Sparky, you're too big for that bed and besides it's pink!" Why do I care what color it is?! So, I guess if it's pink, that means it's for Izzy. Yuck! Girls are icky! At least I rubbed my scent all over the new bed so she will be forced to think of me every time she gets in it. And my body fit perfectly in the space no matter what anyone says.

On to more serious matters. Izzy had to go to the doctor yesterday for an upper respiratory problem and something called Puppy Pyoderma, which is a mild skin infection. She had x-rays taken, as well as a thermometer shoved up her tiny bum. Mom said she screamed. Wish I could have been there for that. Hee hee. Izzy is on antibiotics and benedryl for 10 days. Next Saturday she may finally get her vaccines started. Oh, I hope mom will let me be there for that! I so deserve some gloat time.

Mom still calls me her baby and treats me the same as before; however, I no longer have exclusive time with her. I must share with the poopy girl puppy. I mean that literally by the way. She knows to use the newspaper for tee-tee, but she poops anywhere she feels like it. When mom and dad find her little presents, they only say, "Oh Izzy, your poop is smaller than a tootsie roll!" If I poop in the house I get reprimanded. I'm really surprised her poop is not pink.

My life at the moment is so unfair, but I still love my peeps. In the end, we're all part of a tight-knit pack. My main duty is to advise everyone of their place within the pack. This job can be exhausting at times, but someone has to be in charge.

Friday, August 11, 2006

More Izzy Issues

As I suspected, the new creature is taking up most of mom and dad's time. In order to make them aware of my displeasure, I put on the most pathetic face I can muster. All my efforts at protecting IZZY seem to make not a whit of difference to them. She was even given the best privilege of all: being on mom and dad's bed. Spenser tried to jump up and sniff her, so I lunged at him, showing my teeth. He stayed away too, further solidifying my high rank in the pack.

I understand that a small *ahem* dog like Izzy needs more attention than the rest of us. Mom says when she gets bigger, she will not have to spend as much time with her. I hope that is the case because I am quite put out with the entire situation. I'm a patient fellow, but if things don't go back to normal soon, I may have to start acting out. Maybe a pair of shoes will suddenly be destroyed, or the edge of a rug chewed up. I'm sure I can come up with something.

In other news, it is now a new season of Rock Star. Mom is obsessed once again. I'll be so happy when this TV show is over. My ears hurt. Why do humans have to play music so loud? I guess they're just human beings, being human. So glad that I'm a dog.

Cheers all and have a great weekend!

Monday, August 7, 2006

Operation: Izzy

It's now Day 3 of Operation: Guard Izzy. Quietly, yet firmly, I stand by her doorway day and night. I am taking these duties seriously and do not tolerate anything from my subordinates, Spenser and Chance. Izzy is very frail, and it is imperative that she receive top-notch attention. There is nothing that slips past me. I even take my naps right beside her crate, but never fall into a deep slumber. During my waking hours, I sit patiently, waiting for any infractions from my beastly brothers. When mom and dad finally secure her at night, I am relieved of my tasks for the day so that I may rest up for a new day of grueling guard duty.

This is now my life. I have accepted the tiny creature into our home with as much grace as possible. She is quite beautiful and small. Mom says she is a pooch, but I'm still not convinced of her lineage. Perhaps when she gets bigger, I will be convinced that she is truly a canine. Regardless, I am quite smitten with her, I must admit.

Well, off to bed for me. I see that Dogster will be shutting down for maintenance soon, and I need to get this posted before that happens. Nighty-night all my furry friends.

Saturday, August 5, 2006

A New Life

Despite a rocky start, I have managed to overcome many obstacles since I was orphaned unexpectedly at one week old. I owe any success I have now and in the future to my foster mom, Amy. She is the nicest lady I could have hoped for, considering my frail beginnings. Before my eyes were even open, she was feeding me through a tube every few hours. When my eyes became infected, she put medicine on them. Now I have gorgeous, bright eyes, and a big fat tummy. Furthermore, I have a new home with 3 big brothers.

It appears that I will receive the same amount of affection, attention and food that I was receiving from Miss Amy. I also have my own bedroom here with a large pen that my new mom calls "Queen Izzy's Palace". This new palace of sorts has afforded me my own bathroom facilities consisting of newspaper on one end. After only one night, I figured out this set up all on my own. Mom was so surprised and happy to see that I used the newspaper for the purpose it was intended.

One of my brothers, Sparky, has appointed himself my guardian. He protects me and my food in an almost obsessive way. I'm getting suspicious of the food guarding though. What is his ulterior motive? I know I'm still very young, but I don't think the Science Diet bag needs protection. Hmmm....

As soon as I am able, I will update my new friends on my new life. Cheers!

The Intruder

The unthinkable finally happened. Mom accepted the new chi baby into our pack last night. I keenly observed that she arrived with a brand new bag of food. As you can imagine, the scent was overpowering. I parked myself by that delicious smelling bag most of the evening until mom moved it into the pantry. What a party pooper!

I have forgiven the lady who brought her to us because she came with food. A multitude of sins can be forgiven when food is somehow involved. If we have to tolerate this new critter, I hope she will share her grub with me.

This incredibly tiny creature has its own bedroom. I am beginning to worry that she will eventually take over our entire domicile. I fear a full scale invasion, but I am reserving judgment until I get to know her more. You know what they say: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer".

In the meantime, I have appointed myself Izzy's guardian. Every time Spenser and Chance go near her, I show my teeth and growl. Mom calls me "guard dog extraordinaire" whatever that means. I have drawn an invisible barrier around Izzy and I have dared anyone (except mom and dad) to cross it. I am pack leader after all, and it is my duty to preserve and protect the young and weak in our midst.