Dear goodness, I have been going through quite a rough patch lately. Life has been pretty cruel since my last entry where I was happily modeling my new bling. The post before that concerned my skin irritation, but that was a tiny blip on the radar compared to the last few weeks. Since then, I have had two bouts of severe vomiting and an allergic reaction to carrots, of all things!
Sparky accuses me of being all diva-like, but I assure you that is not the case. He also claims my unfortunate circumstances are simply a ruse to get the human parents' attention. This is a blatantly false allegation which I resent wholeheartedly.
The truth is, I have a most delicate constitution. Sparky is a horrible influence because he is constantly begging the humans for their food, and not to be outdone, I try to follow suit. Of course, my methods are more sophisticated, except for the drool that collects and then drips off my tongue as I wait patiently for a tidbit.
Sparky has a stomach lined with iron. Nothing seems to bother this stout bloke. Yes, I said it. And I could have used a harsher word than stout. Let me assure you, that is an understatement.
Chance regurgitates the human food occasionally, but he keeps it extremely low key, even cleaning up after himself as best he can. In my case, if I get a queasy stomach, it causes near death. That is no exaggeration, either.
Due to my inability to handle even the slightest human morsel, all handouts from the humans have ceased. Sparky is quite upset with me since the legislation was handed down directly because of me and my weak stomach. My opinion is that Sparky can only benefit from the new ruling. He waddles around like a grumpy dictator as it is. Therefore, in the end, we all win. Right?
1 comment:
Izzy - you are so darned cute - how can the Sparkinator stay mad at you?
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