The Pink Rattletrap

It seems my lovely humans have thought of yet another way to torment me and my chi brother, Sparky. We are now the proud owners of a doggie stroller. No, that was not a typo.

When I first saw the pink contraption I was delighted. Usually, pink things are fun toys just for me; however, I became apprehensive when they placed my favorite blankie inside of it and began using the word "outside". At that point, I instinctively knew that I was in for an evening of terror.

Here is daddy securing me into the rickety apparatus a few days ago. They know that I'm extremely uncomfortable being outside exposed to the elements -- I tend to freckle, you know. But mom assured me that I would be protected with the stroller hood. They raved about how fun this would be for me. I became overwhelmed with all the strange scents swirling around me and strange noises. I wasn't so sure.
Halfway through the walk, Sparky was unceremoniously placed next to me and we were zipped up like prisoners, peering through the black mesh. Sparky clawed at the screen and raised a little fuss, but mom said it was for his own good. Apparently, a mile is much too long for a robust, senior Chihuahua like Sparky. I lost a good 3/4 of my interior space because of him. Before that, I was actually starting to enjoy the scenery. Now I had to deal with his boorish behavior and malodorous breath. He was panting like crazy, so it was kind of hard to avoid.
Tonight, as the humans began gathering leashes, I immediately sensed danger and hid under the bed, refusing to come out. After several attempts to coax me from my safe place, they left, taking the pink gizmo with them. I chuckled, thinking of Sparky enduring another trip in that flimsy rattletrap. I rule! Bwaaahhhhaaahhhhaaa!!!