Desertion

I can hardly wait for my humans to be home on the weekends in order to give me their undivided attention. Most weekends, it works out splendidly. This past Friday, however, things started off a little shaky. First, the humans took out the big zippered bags from the top closet shelf. Immediately, Chance began to whine. Really, he sobbed like a baby. This got all the rest of us in a tizzy.

We had good reason to worry, too. The humans threw their clothes in those big bags and left with them early the next morning. They were gone before we even had a chance to say "woof". Dad put Izzy in the crate with food and the rest of us were left to fend for ourselves.

Later, mom’s younger human boy came over and spent the night. He was cool because he brought Leo over. We played and played.

Even though I was having fun, I kept wondering where our parents were and when they planned to return. I worried they may not make it back, so I had some posters made. The reward was going to be several liver treats - pretty tempting, huh?

Finally, late yesterday afternoon, they arrived home, tired and smelling of tamales. I was so overjoyed, I didn't even care that they didn't bring me a doggie bag. I was stuck to mom like glue for the rest of the night.

I've decided that the next time they get those bags down from the closet shelf, I'm going to jump in there and hide under the clothes when they're not looking.

Izzy the Pig

Sunday morning Daddy put food in our bowls as usual. Izzy went straight for our my bowl without a second glance to see if I might want to go first. She turned into a ravenous little pig, right before my eyes, gobbling up the morsels before I even had a chance to react. I stood behind her waiting patiently for my turn and also to let her know that - hello! - others are hungry, too. She responded by growling, showing her teeth, and glaring at me. The nerve! I thought mom might come to my rescue, but she only laughed, muttering something about how I've met my match. Whatever! Needless to say, my feelings were hurt, so I went and stood close to mom hoping for some comfort, or at least a few tidbits of human food. All I received were a couple of obligatory pats on the head. Hmph! When did I lose control?

Sparky No Longer Rules

Sunday morning I found myself inexplicably famished, so when daddy put food in my our bowl, I made a bee line for it. Really, I was so ravenous, I was in danger of collapse.

Sparky, in his controlling way, felt it was his duty to supervise every morsel I put into my mouth by standing directly behind me. Well, I was very put out with this scenario. I'm afraid I was forced to exhibit another side of my personality which may very well damage my sweet reputation. His presence was rather intimidating to say the least, so I growled softly in between bites to voice my displeasure. Sparky was undeterred by this warning, however, so I turned around, glared at him, and growled louder, showing my teeth this time. Daddy also observed that my fur was standing on end. It took three stern warnings before he finally got the message.

Realizing that I meant business, Sparky sulked over to mom with his ears down and a wounded look on his face. Further humiliation ensued by mom laughing at him. She said, "Sparky, you finally met your match!" BOL!

I didn't mean to cause my chi brother embarrassement, but he forced my hand. After all, it was boorish behavior on Sparky's part, so I can hardly be held responsible for my actions.

Do I get credit for leaving him some crumbs?

Porn Dogs

Hubba hubba! Look at these sexy girls.

Story Time!

Goody! Daddy's gonna read me a story.
Let me give it my scent of approval, first. Wait, this denim tastes good.
This stock market story is making me very sleepy.

Toothacres

Father's Day started out deliciously with mom barbecuing on the patio. Two paws up for the new barbecue sauce with Guinness beer in it! YUM-MEE!

After our fill of chicken, we rode out to Arbor Hills Nature Conservatory where I almost fainted from the heat. So did mom.

The day ended in a most interesting manner: visiting a graveyard. Not just any graveyard, but a pet cemetery called Toothacres. Apparently, mom and dad had other dogs before me, but they crossed the Rainbow Bridge before I was born and are buried at Toothacres.

Something about that place creeped me out. My sniffer went bananas and I couldn't stop zig-zagging around those carved stones. I think I had what they call the heebie geebies. Fortunately, we didn't hang around there for long.

Izzy's Blog

Mom is forcing me to advertise Izzy's new blog in this post. I deeply resent this intrusion into my space with every strand of my fur. Okay, I've barked my peace, so go visit if you must. This is all the press she gets, though. *pouts*

Greetings!

Welcome to my new abode! Since Sparky has his own blog, I felt it was completely reasonable to request a space, too. Besides, he only portrays our life from his point of view, which can be slightly inaccurate at times. I don't want to malign Sparky, or accuse him of lying since he is merely relating things from his perspective, but I do feel it is only fair that my side be told as well. He does treat me somewhat better than Spenser and Chance, but I do get the feeling that he would prefer I disappear into the night, never to return. Just think of the domination we could achieve by joining forces – his craftiness and brawn coupled with my intelligence and refinement. I shall win him over, yet..

Ooops!

Hmm.....wonder what happened to Izzy's new toy? Too bad, so sad.

Well, I would've gotten away with it, but I choked on the stuffing for several minutes. I was forced to go to mom for help. Drats! I must learn to be more cunning.

All Is Well

Last night dad gave me the last of that nasty pink liquid they call medicine. I'm as good as new now and hope to avoid fiascos like that in the future. Even if I forget, mom and dad have promised never to give me a ginormous treat like that again.

Yesterday, I was left in charge of the pack while mom and dad went out. I don't know where they went, but they were gone a very long time and returned to us smelling suspiciously of food. I think it was enchiladas, but there was a strong lime/tequila odor as well, so I can't be sure. I did notice there was no doggie bag for us, though. What nerve. Is that how you treat a supervisor? I kept everyone in line all afternoon and it was not an easy job.

All was forgiven later, when we were able to cuddle on the couch together - my 2nd favorite activity behind getting morsels of human food.

My Crappy Weekend

Friday night, mom came home with 2 plastic bags filled with goodies - all for me us! The suspense was killing me as she dug through the bags, pulling out the new packages one at a time and setting them on the counter. Was it toys, treats, or both?! Her intent was to give us the goodies at the same time, so it took a while to open all the packaging and get everything ready for the BIG HANDOUT. My tail was wagging so fast, I nearly fell over. Spenser placed his nose on the counter which mom knew was an unfair advantage, so she shooed him off, bopping him lightly on the nose. "No Spenser, you have to wait." Good thing she reprimanded him because I was about to read him his rights!

Finally, after hours of waiting, she gave each of us a blue ball. Inside the ball was a large treat. Immediately, I noticed that Spenser and Chance had larger treats than mine, so I devised a plan to hide mine behind the sofa, then charge at Spenser forcefully in hopes that he would become so afraid that he'd run away like the big scaredy cat he is. At that point, I would carry his treat to my special place behind the couch, where I would savor both of them while at the same time going “neener, neener” from my safe place. Well, my plan backfired. Spenser bared his teeth and barked right back at me. His bark was so loud it nearly blew me backwards across the room. Spit even flew out of his mouth! Ah well, no harm, no foul, I coolly returned to my special place and started working on my little ball, trying feverishly to pop the treat disc out.

Spenser and Chance popped their treats out in no time flat. I ventured out from behind the couch to see what crumbs I could get from them, but they were gnawing away with such ferocity that I decided to play it safe, going back to my own scrawny little ball. Pretty soon though, I was able to get the treat out. I ate incredibly fast so that no one else could get it. Yay me!

The next day I pooped several times and my poopies had blood in it. I also threw up. Mom went out for a bit and when she came back, there was more poop and more vomit. Dad asked if we should go to the emergency room. Mom said to wait another day and see what happens. In the meantime, she checked my gum color and watched me like a hawk the rest of the day.

That night, as mom and I snuggled in bed, I moaned and groaned. During the night, I pooped again, but when Mom inspected it the next morning, there was no blood. Thinking I was getting better, she went to the movie with a friend and stayed gone for a long time. When she returned, I had more accidents in the house, including vomit. Daddy said we had run out of carpet cleaner. Since my gum color was fine and I had drunk a little water, mom and dad decided I would see Dr. Fred on Monday morning (today). Daddy even canceled his visit to the dentist, he was so worried about me.

Dr. Fred's nurses are sadistic! They stuck two contraptions up my bum, probed me all over, and peered into my mouth and ears. My displeasure was evident, but they didn't seem to care. Doc said my poop sample indicated that I had something called "enteritis". I was sent home on antibiotics, a liquid medication, and 3 cans of bland food. My $12 treat ended up costing an additional $71, lost sleep, and a new bottle of carpet cleaner.

Sadly, my body has betrayed me, because I'm pretty sure mom will never buy me a treat like that again.

Chihuahua vs Doberman

Can you believe this little wimp was too scared to snatch the bone from that ogre? I would've had that bone in my mouth before you could say "boo". It's all in the attitude, people.

I'm Baaack!

I miss journaling. Of course, mom has to bring my thoughts to life since my delicate paws are not equipped for the mundane task of typing. Pack leaders never perform menial labor, anyway. Where has she been lately, you ask? I can't prove it, but I suspect she has been doing her own journaling at my expense. Well, that's about to change. I do have a life and I want it reported!

For instance, today mom came home and completely threw me off schedule by going straight to the computer instead of to the refrigerator. I was aghast! 'What, no dinner?' I pleaded with my eyes. She continued to ignore me and type on the computer, while I sat there starving. Finally, an hour later she went downstairs and heated up a can of chicken and dumplings which has been our standby all week, and I must admit, it is yummy. For dessert we had a Nutty Buddy - that's my favorite part. Unfortunately, it's also the favorite of Izzy, Chance and Spenser. By the time mom divides the last little bit into four sections, it's hardly worth salivating for.

See, I do have important things going on in my life.

Well, that's enough thinking for one day; I need another nap.

Post Christmas Update

Merry post Christmas, my pawesome pup pals! I hope everyone's day was fantastic!

Moi? My joyous holiday spirit quickly dissipated yesterday when Spenser destroyed the new stuffed toy Izzy and I received for Christmas. He made mince meat out of it in no time flat. It was blue and soft and squeaky. Izzy and I had just been playing tug-of-war with it not an hour before. I would love to be able to exact revenge by shredding his new bone to bits, but since that's impossible, I will continue my verbal lashings every time he comes near me or Mom. Watching him flinch when I lunge at him with my teeth bared gives me great pleasure. *insert diabolical barks here*

The humans bought themselves a stupid video game called Guitar Hero III. Instead of cuddling with me, Mom straps a guitar around her chest every night for hours. What's up with that? It's a cold piece of plastic and it's annoyingly loud. But like a good dog, I keep her spot on the couch warm until she eventually puts the noisy game away.

Izzy has begun sleeping with Mom and me at night. My space is right beside Mom's pillow, so when she tried to venture into my territory, I would emit a low warning growl. She eventually got the message and now has her own spot next to Mom's leg. I think I can live with that. Izzy is pretty cool and she's kinda cute with that tongue hanging out all the time. It's the two big goons that get on my last nerve.

Well, I hope to update my diary more often in the coming year. I miss it here.

I WON!

After months of waiting, it has finally been confirmed that I won a contest to be featured at the end of the Firehouse Dog movie! That's right; my handsome mug will be shown during the closing credits. My big break has finally arrived - woof woof! To think I was worried that Leo's sauciness would win them over, or that Spenser and Chance would sway them with their thick, red coats. I should have had more faith in my cuteness. Look at me now - Hollywood bound! I must get into shape quick in case Speilberg or Oprah come calling!

Life Changes

Hi pals! I know it has been quite some time since mom has helped me update my diary. Too many things going on I guess.

My mansion was disassembled about a week ago and I am now placed in a cage when they leave the house. *gasp* Mom said I had too much room in my mansion, which caused me to have accidents. She was tired of washing the bedding. So far, I am doing well in the crate. I have proven to mom that I can "hold it" all day long! Mom is very proud of me.

Another thing that occurred is that I am now becoming a woman, if you get my drift. Mom says as soon as I am over my "ladies days" I will go to the vet and get spayed. She tries to make it sound like it's no big deal, but I'm not so sure. "Ladies days" are not much fun though!

Happy New Year!

My new year is going pretty well so far. Mom took down the big tree and placed all the tempting ornaments in boxes. I tried to help, but was shooed away each time. I decided to watch the entire spectacle from the safety and comfort of daddy's lap.

Since my mom was away taking care of her mom for new year's, I celebrated with daddy. We watched tv and drank champagne. Actually, daddy drank it and I enjoyed the bubbles on my nose.

Mom is back now and boy how I missed her! She has the softest lap and she plays tennis ball with me until I am exhausted. My eyelids get droopy which causes Daddy to say "I see sand man coming Izzy" and shortly thereafter, I am sound asleep.

HO HO HO! Hum

Hey everybody! It's been a while. Let's see...I'm still waiting for the walking regimen to happen. When the humans start a new year I might have a chance then for a firm, slim bod. Mom says we are just too busy to entertain such ideas at the moment, but starting in 2007, we will work our buns off.

Tonight, mom and dad are having guests over, which means that we will be treated like second class citizens. The guests are not "dog people" whatever that means! Mom will be extra nice to us afterwards and give me more treats than anyone else I bet. Well, a pooch can dream, can't he?

On Christmas Eve we will have mom's kids over. Leo and Callie will be there too! That will make 5 dogs and 6 people. Quite a zoo when we're all together. The great thing about them is that they ALL love dogs - especially us. We get lots of attention and treats. Last party had a few of us canines licking the insides of the wine glasses. Now that was a par-TAY!

Merry Christmas everyone. I love all my pup pals and wish them the best Christmas and New Year!

Merry Christmas Y'all!

During my first year on this planet, I've learned a lot. For one thing the humans get snippy with me when they find poop on the carpet. Somehow they know it belongs to precious little me. Their snippiness intensifies when they discover tee tee. Sorry, but I've got a bladder the size of a grain of rice. What do they expect? When a girl has to go, she's got to go! When possible, I still make my deposits next to the nearest toilet. I think that's pretty considerate, don't you?

Another thing the humans have done lately is to erect a bushy tree - in the living room of all places! Shortly afterwards, mom hung these shiny gold toys on nearly every branch, yet I am not allowed to sniff or touch them. If I go near the dangly things just to sniff, I hear "IZZY! NO!" Then they mutter something about "foreign body surgery". Mom working at the vet place sure puts a damper on my lifestyle.

I've decided that I really like TV. Seriously, I sit on my favorite lap (it changes from day to day) and watch along with my human parents. I've noticed that the shows daddy watches cause him to yell things like "GET HIM! RUN! GO! GO! GO!" Mom watches things that have other animals or music or people that make her face get wet. What is that all about? Hey, I like to lick the tears, so I'm not complaining, just sayin'.

Well, I want to wish all my pup pals the best Christmas evah and a happy, healthy new year!

Obedience Training?

I am now a student at Four Paws Training. This involves a very loud clicking noise followed quickly by a treat. I'm not too sure what I am supposed to be doing, but they keep saying I will figure it out in time. Also, I'm perplexed why I need to be trained since all I do is play with my humans or sleep on their laps.

Mom and I are supposed to practice clicking and treating during the week. Specifically during commercials. My trainer gave mom a softer sounding click since the other one startled me so badly. It was really loud!

My boisterous housemates think that every time mom clicks, they should receive a treat too. Pardon me, but I think they're supposed to do something to earn it first. Humph! I am working my buns off trying to figure out what to do to get the treat and they need to do the same. Fair is fair.

My coat is not coming in very thick for the winter so I am forced to wear clothing. Unfortunately, there is nothing that really fits me properly. The tee shirt I was forced to wear for my first day of class was hanging off of me and didn't do anything to warm me up. It was soooo embarrassing! Mom needs to learn how to sew or look harder for xx-small.

Eureka!

Guess what I figured out? When the humans fail to recognize my signals that I need to perform #2, I run to the nearest toilet and leave my poopies right next to it. This makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Isn't that what the humans use this cold, white contraption for? I believe this exhibits a great deal of intelligence, decorum and resourcefulness on my part. Now, if I could just straddle the seat without falling in and drowing, I might be THE smartest canine anyone ever knew. Besides that, I'd never have to deal with the wet and cold again!

Plugging Along

Mom has come up with a new nickname for me and dare I say it is not very flattering. In fact, I may require therapy soon to deal with the emotional scars. She calls me Rump Roast. Actually, she says, “Come here my little rump roast with legs.” She tries to disguise her insult in that sing-song voice, but she’s not fooling me. T-Bone is a more masculine reference, which I would be more than happy to respond to. But, rump roast? I have decided that I will not respond to that unless she is referring to a large piece of meat cooking on the stove and is about to give me a big juicy taste.

“Exercise” is another word that keeps cropping up in conversation lately. She calls us both pudgy and claims that a good walk around the neighborhood every day will cure our stoutness. So far, all we’ve done is discuss the matter for several days. I am patiently waiting for her to actually open up the cabinet door which houses my leash. If I knew how to open that door, I would take the leash out and bring it to her myself because it appears that we’re going to be in the talking stages for a good while.

Popcorn is the Bomb!

Apparently, it is frowned upon if you jump into a fresh, steaming bowl of popcorn. Yep, dove head first. Mom yelled my name really loudly and then yanked me out tout de suite. It was so warm and smelled oh-so-yummy. What did I do wrong?

Life is Beautiful

Greetings pup pals! I wanted to update everyone on my latest developments – with mom’s help of course.

First, I now weigh a hefty 2¼ pounds! My health and weight are improving every day. More importantly, my sarcoptic mange is clearing up, so there is less scratching. My white coat is getting thicker too, which is a plus.

The horrid vaccine process is almost over. Due to my size I must get vaccines in small increments. Next weekend will be my 4th and last time to undergo this monotonous, painful process. I’m glad my mom knows a doctor who is familiar with extra small puppies. There has been some side talk lately about something called a “spay”, but mom says I have to weigh over 5 pounds before that can happen. If I watch my calories, perhaps I will never have to find out what spaying entails. It doesn’t sound pretty. I think they butcher you. *gasp!*

In other news, my palate has become quite discriminating. I no longer lap things up just because they are waved under my nose. For instance, the bright pink Amoxy medication was palatable a couple of weeks ago, but I was recently prescribed Clavamox, a white liquid, which is intensely bitter. Lately, I have chosen to fight mom and dad on this issue, practically swiveling my head around in a complete circle to avoid the foul concoction. Well, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration. At any rate, they always manage to get it down my throat despite my vehement protests.

I am starting to realize that I don’t have much of a chance fighting these large, strong human parents. I do, however, have a weapon at my disposal that I use as often as possible: my large, black eyes. When I give them the super sad look, I make sure my ears are laid back, which accentuates my eyes. This look has proved successful in almost everything except getting out of taking medicine. It has even afforded me a few tiny morsels of human food. I think Sparky’s big black eyes are what caused him to get so fat, so I’m still weighing whether or not I should employ this pitiful look to get my way where food is concerned. I don’t want to end up looking like a pork roast with legs. Maintaining a girlish figure is of utmost importance.

Okay, this you will not believe: I can run all the way up the stairs by myself. The human parents didn’t even try to coax or teach me. One day, I just decided to go for it. The downfall is, I’m too afraid to come down. When the humans realize I’m missing, mom rounds the corner to look at the top of the stairs. Nine times out of ten she will find me up there waiting to be carried back down. I’m sure I will learn to do this myself eventually, but right now it is a very scary ordeal for me.

In essence, I'm exploring the world, growing by leaps and bounds, and developing a charming personality. One day I hope to be crowned Queen over these other large beasts I am forced to share my domicile with. They're nice enough, but sometimes can be a bit ill-mannered. Chance is least affected by my presence; he just sniffs a lot which can get annoying over time. Spenser barks (shouts) at me if I get too close. It's so loud it practically blows me across the room. Not to mention, it is unnerving to be playing and suddenly get shouted at. Sparky is very tempermental. I never know when he will be receptive to playing with me. That's okay because I will rule this pack one day. Very soon.

Backyard Invasion

I’ve discovered rabbits! A baby bunny rabbit to be precise. The best part is when you put one in your mouth, it squeals. The worst part is when mom runs towards me yelling at the top of her lungs. Only when I knew she was absolutely serious did I let go; however as soon as bunny hit the ground, Chance got it and he would not let go as quickly. Mom kept after him and he finally opened his mouth only to let Spenser get it! Well, Spenser is such a scaredy-cat; he immediately dropped it on the ground after mom yelled at him.

Mom looked like a maniac in the yard. It was quite comical watching her go round and round trying to save the little creature. Thankfully, bunny was only startled. The tiny critter sustained no injuries during the melee. Mom scooped it up into a plastic container and brought it to our dogless neighbor’s yard a few houses down.

Our backyard has never been so exciting! I can’t wait to go out now, even in this brutal Texas heat. In addition to my job guarding Izzy, I now have the added responsibility of keeping our turf free from invaders. Being the alpha dog is exhausting work, I gotta say!

Perils of Puppyhood

My new mom came home late last night smelling like lime mixed with something flammable. Humans sure put weird things in their mouths. It definitely put my smelling receptors in high gear, I tell ya!

After she put her jammies on, we snuggled in front of the computer. I love her silky jammies ‘cause there is a tiny rosebud on there that I like to chew on. Mom was clicking away at her desk with me snuggled in the blanket and before she knew what was happening, I began to choke. Fortunately, the episode lasted less than 2 seconds. Several minutes later, mom looked down and realized that the rosebud was gone. Uh-oh! She was so wrapped up in making her clicking sounds, she didn’t realize I had swallowed part of her jammies. Oops.

Sparky still guards my cage daily. He would guard me at night too, but mom shoos him out of my room. I’ll be glad when I am a big girl and can sleep under the covers with mommy. Sparky will probably hate it, but tough toenails. I am doing everything I can to get stronger and run with the big dogs. Pretty soon, I plan to dominate this motley crew.

A New Contraption

Mom is always bringing home something to complicate my life. This time, she came home with a miniature staircase. Confused? I was too at first, but soon enough her hideous intentions were revealed. Keep reading.

Assembly was required which caused mom’s voice to become irritated and use naughty words. Already, I hated this new thing. Nope, I didn’t want anything to do with an object that put mom in a bad mood. Once she was done, she placed it next to the bed and announced that it was for me. Huh? Little did she know that I had already decided to boycott this piece of............work.

Later that night she crawled into bed and waited for me. I looked at her, then looked at those stairs that she positioned next to the bed. She really expected me to climb that rickety thing to get to her. No thanks; I’ll think of some other way to get in. She coaxed and coaxed, patting the steps with her hand. “C’mon Sparky! Don’t look so sad. This will help you get into bed easier.” Well, what happened to her picking me up and placing me in the bed? That’s what I’d like to know. #@*!?&#!.

Before I knew it, she switched off the light. Oh, the cruelty, the injustice. Once my eyes adjusted, I did what any proud dog would do; I lunged at the bed over and over and over. Finally, mom got tired of hearing me thud against the side of the mattress and picked me up. Ah, sweet relief at last.

I hope I have made my point and will not be forced to go through that exercise again! I love my humans and all, but this is ridiculous!

Nothing Can Keep Me Down

Even though I was diagnosed with a respiratory infection and puppy dermatitis this weekend, it will not deter my mission in life, which is to romp happily from room to room of my new home. Yep, unless you tell people I am sick, they would never know it, except for the congested sound if you get really close.

Daddy asked if there were amphetamines in my antibiotic drops because after I lapped it up, I ran around the house like greased lightning. I even did my play bow gesture to each of the dogs. Spenser responded by emitting a low growl and giving a disgusted look, as if to say he is too mature for my childish games. Whatever! Chance placed his paw on me, very gently, which mom promptly swatted away. Hey mom! I asked him to play! Sparky gave me a sideways glance and proceeded to ignore me. That Sparky is hard to read. He's very protective, yet he doesn't want to play with me. When I get stronger, I am going to turn on all my girlish charms. Mom has also picked out some bling-bling for me to wear around my neck and a pretty pink outfit for when I get bigger. That'll get his attention.

After all my begging to play and running like a banshee around the house, I crashed and burned. I tried to fight sleep, but sleep finally won. I had a really good night's rest, so I can't wait until the humans return home today so I can show off some more.

Little Pink Presents

Today mom said she had to run an errand. Apparently she went shopping because she returned with several bags. Inside were 2 pink doggie beds and pink doggie toys. When she set the beds down to show daddy, I immediately jumped into the softest one and snuggled in. They laughed at me and said, "Sparky, you're too big for that bed and besides it's pink!" Why do I care what color it is?! So, I guess if it's pink, that means it's for Izzy. Yuck! Girls are icky! At least I rubbed my scent all over the new bed so she will be forced to think of me every time she gets in it. And my body fit perfectly in the space no matter what anyone says.

On to more serious matters. Izzy had to go to the doctor yesterday for an upper respiratory problem and something called Puppy Pyoderma, which is a mild skin infection. She had x-rays taken, as well as a thermometer shoved up her tiny bum. Mom said she screamed. Wish I could have been there for that. Hee hee. Izzy is on antibiotics and benedryl for 10 days. Next Saturday she may finally get her vaccines started. Oh, I hope mom will let me be there for that! I so deserve some gloat time.

Mom still calls me her baby and treats me the same as before; however, I no longer have exclusive time with her. I must share with the poopy girl puppy. I mean that literally by the way. She knows to use the newspaper for tee-tee, but she poops anywhere she feels like it. When mom and dad find her little presents, they only say, "Oh Izzy, your poop is smaller than a tootsie roll!" If I poop in the house I get reprimanded. I'm really surprised her poop is not pink.

My life at the moment is so unfair, but I still love my peeps. In the end, we're all part of a tight-knit pack. My main duty is to advise everyone of their place within the pack. This job can be exhausting at times, but someone has to be in charge.

More Izzy Issues

As I suspected, the new creature is taking up most of mom and dad's time. In order to make them aware of my displeasure, I put on the most pathetic face I can muster. All my efforts at protecting IZZY seem to make not a whit of difference to them. She was even given the best privilege of all: being on mom and dad's bed. Spenser tried to jump up and sniff her, so I lunged at him, showing my teeth. He stayed away too, further solidifying my high rank in the pack.

I understand that a small *ahem* dog like Izzy needs more attention than the rest of us. Mom says when she gets bigger, she will not have to spend as much time with her. I hope that is the case because I am quite put out with the entire situation. I'm a patient fellow, but if things don't go back to normal soon, I may have to start acting out. Maybe a pair of shoes will suddenly be destroyed, or the edge of a rug chewed up. I'm sure I can come up with something.

In other news, it is now a new season of Rock Star. Mom is obsessed once again. I'll be so happy when this TV show is over. My ears hurt. Why do humans have to play music so loud? I guess they're just human beings, being human. So glad that I'm a dog.

Cheers all and have a great weekend!

Operation: Izzy

It's now Day 3 of Operation: Guard Izzy. Quietly, yet firmly, I stand by her doorway day and night. I am taking these duties seriously and do not tolerate anything from my subordinates, Spenser and Chance. Izzy is very frail, and it is imperative that she receive top-notch attention. There is nothing that slips past me. I even take my naps right beside her crate, but never fall into a deep slumber. During my waking hours, I sit patiently, waiting for any infractions from my beastly brothers. When mom and dad finally secure her at night, I am relieved of my tasks for the day so that I may rest up for a new day of grueling guard duty.

This is now my life. I have accepted the tiny creature into our home with as much grace as possible. She is quite beautiful and small. Mom says she is a pooch, but I'm still not convinced of her lineage. Perhaps when she gets bigger, I will be convinced that she is truly a canine. Regardless, I am quite smitten with her, I must admit.

Well, off to bed for me. I see that Dogster will be shutting down for maintenance soon, and I need to get this posted before that happens. Nighty-night all my furry friends.

A New Life

Despite a rocky start, I have managed to overcome many obstacles since I was orphaned unexpectedly at one week old. I owe any success I have now and in the future to my foster mom, Amy. She is the nicest lady I could have hoped for, considering my frail beginnings. Before my eyes were even open, she was feeding me through a tube every few hours. When my eyes became infected, she put medicine on them. Now I have gorgeous, bright eyes, and a big fat tummy. Furthermore, I have a new home with 3 big brothers.

It appears that I will receive the same amount of affection, attention and food that I was receiving from Miss Amy. I also have my own bedroom here with a large pen that my new mom calls "Queen Izzy's Palace". This new palace of sorts has afforded me my own bathroom facilities consisting of newspaper on one end. After only one night, I figured out this set up all on my own. Mom was so surprised and happy to see that I used the newspaper for the purpose it was intended.

One of my brothers, Sparky, has appointed himself my guardian. He protects me and my food in an almost obsessive way. I'm getting suspicious of the food guarding though. What is his ulterior motive? I know I'm still very young, but I don't think the Science Diet bag needs protection. Hmmm....

As soon as I am able, I will update my new friends on my new life. Cheers!

The Intruder

The unthinkable finally happened. Mom accepted the new chi baby into our pack last night. I keenly observed that she arrived with a brand new bag of food. As you can imagine, the scent was overpowering. I parked myself by that delicious smelling bag most of the evening until mom moved it into the pantry. What a party pooper!

I have forgiven the lady who brought her to us because she came with food. A multitude of sins can be forgiven when food is somehow involved. If we have to tolerate this new critter, I hope she will share her grub with me.

This incredibly tiny creature has its own bedroom. I am beginning to worry that she will eventually take over our entire domicile. I fear a full scale invasion, but I am reserving judgment until I get to know her more. You know what they say: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer".

In the meantime, I have appointed myself Izzy's guardian. Every time Spenser and Chance go near her, I show my teeth and growl. Mom calls me "guard dog extraordinaire" whatever that means. I have drawn an invisible barrier around Izzy and I have dared anyone (except mom and dad) to cross it. I am pack leader after all, and it is my duty to preserve and protect the young and weak in our midst.

Dogster Rocks!

Well, I must say I am so honored to be a Dogster Daily Diary pick! Thanks y'all! I try to keep our doggie pals updated as much as possible, with mom's help, of course. This is a wonderful forum for anyone even slightly obsessed with their dogs.

There have been rumors and grumbling amongst the pack that mom is considering bringing another chi into our midst. A poopy girl puppy at that! Well, I'm mama's baby, and always will be. Just so we're all clear on this matter, okay? We just got rid of Leo too! What can she be thinking? Well, my status as leader of this group will remain unchanged. I intend to make that known right away.

I will keep you all posted on this dreadful situation. Please keep me in your doggie prayers.

Sniffs & wags,
Sparky

Web Site Updates

My mom's friend has a new web site for her dog training business. It's Four Paws Training School. If you live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, and you find yourself in need of training services, I would highly recommend calling her. Mickey has been training dogs since 1974.

Not much is going on in Texas right now except for this scorching hot weather. We try to stay inside as much as possible to avoid the feeling of entering intense flames. Step outside here and you'll get a glimpse of Hades real quick. It ain't pretty!

Leo

My annoying brother Leo has been given to mom's son and daughter-in-love who are now called "the newlyweds". Hannah has been asking to take Leo from day 1 and mom finally broke down. After much discussion, a wedding, and lectures, mom has decided that the newlyweds can keep him at their place. Mom says she will keep a close eye on things and if any problems arise, she will snatch him back.

It's been weird the last 3 days. I'm used to having his butt in my face all the time, or his big stinky face, which was the most aggravating thing you could possibly imagine. I no longer hide under furniture, pout, or growl unceasingly. The best part is that I have mom all to myself. At least until Chance and Spenser try to horn in. When they do that, I lay down the law real quick!

Hannah says Leo looks sad now. Of course he is! He doesn't have me to annoy any longer! Mom has a long face too, but in no time she will be giving me her undivided attention and start enjoying the peace and quiet around here.

Eventually, I think Leo will be happier in a home where he is the center of attention. Mom doesn't really want to admit that he was too much for her to handle. She's stubborn like that.

I'm perfectly content with the new equation: 3 canines and 2 utterly devoted humans. Actually, what would be perfect is to have 2 canines and 2 humans, but I don't want to push my luck. Although if one of us had to hit the road, it should be Spenser with his humping, burping, and other unmentionable noises. Mom won't hear of it though. She's the only one who can tolerate him. She says no one else would put up with all his "issues".

Another Update

I was remiss in giving an update on the Chihuahua race situation when I wrote last. Mom finally came to her senses and decided not to register me. Boy, was I relieved. She didn't want to cause me any anxiety or put me in a situation where I could get heat stroke. The temperatures in Dallas are too extreme for this pampered pooch.

Update

Mom and dad had to go to something called a "wedding" for Michael and Hannah last weekend. Apparently, humans have a big ceremony where they exchange rings and profess dying devotion to one another. Dogs just sniff, lick and maybe bite if we're particularly excited. Humans are so complicated. We were left in the care of mom's friend from the clinic, Jennifer and Jennifer's brother Kevin.

It was quite a wild party from what mom says. There was too much of a drink called "alcohol" which made some of the young men start a fight. Plus, it lasted until 3 in the morning. Mom says nothing good happens at that hour when alcohol is involved. I'm glad mom only supplies us with water.

In any case, they've returned to us, tired, but happy to be home. Now I can be lavished with the proper attention I am so used to. It's not that Miss Jennifer & Kevin didn't give me enough attention, but let's face it, there's no one like mom. Actually, Miss Jennifer is sort of a hero because she took Leo out of our hair for the whole weekend to stay at her place. Us big boys didn't have to hear him whimper and whine all day. For that, I will be eternally grateful to her.

Mom says there will be no more big events for the year if she can help it. Three kids getting married and a trip to Italy in the first half of the year are enough for her! And me!

Grazie Mille, They're Back!

Notice I'm even learning a little Italian here? Every chance she gets, mom uses little Italian phrases on us. I'm even called Little Bambino sometimes. Can you believe they didn't even bring home treats for us? I was a little put out, seeing that they bought all the human children, family, friends and co-workers presents, but not one souvenir for their faithful pack. Grrrr.

Enough of this Italy stuff. Movin' on people!

Mom came home from work late, late Sat. night (well, really 2am Sun.) and announced that I will be in a chihuahua race in 2 weeks. Due to my over-indulgence of human leftovers, in addition to my own carefully selected diet, I am not in any shape to be in a race. Not to mention the fact that I am accustomed to being outside for a scant few minutes at a time. Is she kidding?? I must find a way to dodge this bullet. Perhaps I can feign an injury of some sort. I will gimp around the day before and hope she sees that there is no way I can compete. Does she really want to embarrass us both by letting me waddle in a public arena? Well, I refuse to be put on display in this manner, and I will do whatever it takes to avoid being a spectacle for the amusement of others.

There is always something I'm having to deal with around here. Why can't I just live my life in peace, quiet, and harmony without all these expectations?

Ciao, Ti Amo

Translated: Hello, I love you. Wonder how that Doors song would have sounded in Italian? Not good probably. One good thing about mom and dad's trip is that Michael and Hannah will stay at our house so we don't have to be boarded. YAY! We'll all be together, just as normal.

Yesterday was our dreadful bath day. Spenser was first and he did not appreciate the cold water from the hose one bit. Mom had to pull him like a mule, then he would escape, and she would drag him over to the hose again. Round and round they went. Her glasses kept slipping off her face and falling in the soapy water. She ended up wetter than the dogs. I observed the entire spectacle from under a lawn chair, hoping not to be noticed.

Next was Chance and since he had already seen the wrong done to Spenser, he caused mom a lot of grief too by running away, shaking his soapy fur, and getting rounded up over and over.

I thought I was gonna get out of it when mom came in the house with the bottle of shampoo in her hands, but alas, she had other ideas. Apparently, the garden hose is not good enough for me, so thankfully, I was given the luxury of a proper bath in the human's tub.

After our fur dried, we were each subjected to brushing. Chance loves this part. His fur is the most beautiful and he welcomes any opportunity to show it off.

Leo was exempt from the entire ordeal. How fair is that??? Mom says his fur requires maintenance by a professional, so he will be going soon to someone called "groomer". I'd rather have mom bathe me than groomer.

Once all was calm again, I nestled into mom's lap for the rest of the evening. While the process of bathing and brushing seems barbaric, I love how clean I feel afterwards. And so does mom.

Where's Italy?

Lately, mom and dad have been talking about a trip they're taking to a place called Italy. I hope it's not too far away from me, or even better that they're going to take me with them! However, based on my limited language skills, I'm pretty sure I'm not going. In fact, I do remember them mentioning that Leo and I would get to stay with Michael and Hannah.

Wonder where Spenser the goob and Chance are going to stay? If Chance has to board at the emergency clinic again, I hope he doesn't freak out like he did the last time. By the time mom and dad picked him up, he had stopped eating and was bleeding from his booty due to excessive diarrhea.

Wouldn't you know I did not get 9 treats for my birthday yesterday? Mom sang this stupid happy birthday song 9 times though. What's up with that? I tried to act like it didn't bother me by playing with my stretchy toy most of the night. I think I may have taken my anger out on Spenser, because I snarled at him everytime he went towards his favorite bone. Mom fussed at me each time too. Birthdays, apparently, do not give you the liberty to do whatever you please. Grrrr.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is not my actual birthday, but it's the date mom chose for me because it's the day she rescued me 3 years ago. No one really knows the exact date I was born, which is kinda sad, but it's all about how my life ended up that counts, right?

February 9, 2003 is the day I began my new life. God must have been watching over me that day. How I did not end up getting hit by a car or mauled by a large animal is a miracle. Here I was, a little 6 lb. toot, wandering around a busy intersection. On top of that I had mange, among other ailments.

Mom, Dad and I wish only good things for the kind souls who removed me from that dangerous situation and brought me to the animal clinic. That's where I locked eyes with my mom and we've become inseparable ever since.

I wish I could tell everyone about my life before, but since that's not possible, we'll simply accept our good fortune at having each other. The past is not really relevant at this point.

Yes, February 9th is a great day in my book. I think I should receive at least 9 treats to mark the occasion. Doesn't that sound reasonable?

Obsessive Mothering - Help!

My heart condition is causing my mom a LOT of anxiety. She apparently had a golden retriever who died suddenly from the same type of murmur. So, because of Frasier, mom has seen fit to ruin my sleep cycles. She pokes and prods me at different intervals all during the night to make sure I'm still alive. It's very frustrating. I wish she would stop and even SHE wishes she could stop.

Last night, for instance, I fell into such a deep state of slumber that I began to snore. According to mom, I was drawing in long breaths and making a strange sound as I drew in air, as though it took great effort. This alarmed her and she reacted by jarring me awake violently. "Sparky, Sparky. Are you okay?" Even after I woke up she wasn't satisfied until I came completely out of it. She kept nagging me until my breathing became normal and my eyes focused. She kept feeling around my chest too. I guess she was looking for a heartbeat. "You scared me Sparky" she whispered into my ear when she was satisfied that I wasn't dying. Needless to say, I was never able to achieve that peaceful state again.

I'll never understand my mom, but she does so many nice things for me. I suppose I can overlook her obsessive-compulsive tendencies; at least for now.

Lost

I must say, having all of these dogs living in the house creates a nervous environment for me. At times, it's difficult to control all the others, plus make sure I get my fair share of crumbs the humans leave behind. My latest requirement is that I be left alone to perform my duties in the yard. Chance, Spenser and Leo are a distraction, rendering me unable to concentrate on the task at hand. At my age, regular eliminations are extremely important.

Last night, dad let me out in the backyard to relieve myself - which I did; but I also discovered a gap in the fence just large enough for me to squeeze through - which I also did, unbeknownst to dad.

This unexpected escape was thrilling, yet frightening all at once. Standing just outside the tall wood planks, alone in the dark, without my posse, caused me to suddenly rethink my impulsiveness. It never occurred to me to go back where I came from, so I started wandering, looking for familiar things or humans.

Suddenly, I heard dad calling me by all my names with a strong sense of urgency: Sparky! Spark Plug! As he went on, I realized that perhaps I needed to remain close to our dwelling, so I went around to the front of the house and noticed the front door. I remembered this tall object from our walks. There I parked myself until daddy came for me. Boy, was I relieved to see him and vice versa!

Dad had not told mom that any of this was going on. He said she would have freaked out. Dad was sorta freaking out himself, and he is not usually one to fall apart.

As soon as the human parents finished showering me with pets and kisses, I climbed into my bed, snuggled in, and attempted to erase the whole incident from my memory. A good night's sleep was just the ticket.

My adventurous years are obviously behind me. Besides, dad has ensured that I will never be tempted to do that again by blocking the escape route with a brick.

A Giant THANK YOU Howl to Dogster!

My diary is one of the Daily Picks again. How wonderful to be chosen by the fabulous staff of Dogster. This truly is a great site for dog lovers. My mom and I have enjoyed every second being on here. If you post a problem or question in Forums, there are a multitude of kind souls to respond and offer advice. Leo had an illness a few weeks ago and there were so many dogs and their moms who were truly concerned. My love to all of you.

Thank you again, Dogster.

Sniffs and wags,
Sparky

Where Can I File Inhumane Treatment Charges?

Night before last was so much fun. We were all taken on a long walk around the neighborhood. My smelling receptors were in high gear and my bladder seemed to produce just the right amount of liquid for each blade of grass or mailbox my heart desired. I was in true bliss.

Last night, however, Chance and I were subjected to a ghastly experiment which went horribly wrong. Mom brought some sort of contraption home that allowed her to tether Chance and I together while she held onto one leash. She said we were causing too much trouble on separate leads.

This new "strangler", as I like to call it, was torturous and provided no fun at all for me. Chance is at least 2 stories taller than I, which meant that every time I wanted to veer off to sniff something, Chance just jerked me along to wherever HE wanted to go. It was so unfair. Many times, I had to hobble off on 3 legs before I could even get a drop of pee out! I can't tell you how utterly embarrassing it was to be dragged along by the inferior one of the pack. I'm supposed to be in charge. Now everyone in the neighborhood thinks that Chance is in charge.

Spenser had his problems too. He was forced to wear a collar that went over his nose. Ha-ha! I wasn't the only humiliated pooch of the pack! Dad was basically leading him around by the nose to keep him from pulling. It would have been more amusing if I wasn't dealing with my own crisis, and my mom had refrained from laughing at me the entire time.

I swear! The humans are constantly thinking up new ways to torture us. I give so much love, loyalty and devotion to them too! When the humans first informed us that we would go on evening walks, I was so excited. I did hear mom tell dad this morning that she was going to exchange the current death trap strangler for a larger one. Please, God, have mercy on me.

Warning: Oklahoma Has Vicious Ticks

Mom and dad took me with them to Turner Falls for a 4 day weekend getaway. My snuggly bed was placed between their seats in the car, so all I had to do was sit there like a king on a throne. I play that part very well.

Turner Falls is stunningly beautiful. Chickasaw National Recreation Area in Sulphur was even prettier. During our hikes we saw water falls, gold, red and green trees, springs, caves and even a castle. Where there was running water, dad would let me drink. It was so fresh; so much better than the yucky water in our bowl at home. Dad carried me a lot 'cause mom was afraid my heart would give out. She just won't forget about that stupid heart murmur.

Everything was going really well until we returned home. After getting our obnoxious greetings from Spenser and Chance, dad noticed I had a big red splotch on my inside back leg. Both mom and dad began inspecting me, which I detest, by the way. Dad noticed a black spot in the center of it and when he tried to pull on it, I yelped and started to bite. I didn't mean to bite, but it hurt so bad.

Mom scooped me up and drove to the emergency room. Lucky for me, mom knows everyone in there. All sorts of emergencies were going on and here is mom, acting like I'm dying or something. It was sooooo embarrassing.

Mom's friend took one look and said, "Yep, looks like a tick. Sparky, did you bring a visitor back with you?" As if I would purposely bring something as detestable as a blood-sucking creature back with me.

She put a muzzle on me and the nice nurse with the sense of humor pulled out the offensive little devil with a pair of hemostats.

As if all that wasn't stressful enough, mom gave me a really long bath when we got home. She said she was checking for more evil critters.

I'll be so glad when it heals up because I'm sick of being inspected. Did I tell you that I really hate that?

I do hope the next time we travel, I will have some say in where we go.

Something's Missing

Earlier this week mom took Leo for a ride in the car. My pride was severely wounded when she took him instead of me for the coveted car ride.

When he returned the next day we sniffed him out and realized that he had come back with some - ahem - "parts" missing. The funny thing is, he didn't seem to mind too much. He is now an official member of our pack as we all have an equal number of body parts now. Leo plays rough and tough as though nothing happened at all. Well, he didn't really have a need for them anyway, so it's all good.

Signing off for the weekend.... Hugs, sniffs & licks to all my good buddies.

The Sparkman

The Big Finale

Tonight is the finale for Rock Star: INXS. Finally! Maybe mom can return to normal after tonight.

The kids have been invited over for the (cough) *event*. A delicious round steak and gravy dinner is planned - Louisiana style. She hasn't cooked since Labor Day, so I am really looking forward to all the plates I am going to get to lick. It kinda makes me nervous though, 'cause if everyone puts their plate on the floor at the same time, then I will have a dickens of a time controlling everything. I may just have a panic attack.

This evening will probably bring out the worst in me as mom thinks we should all get to lick the plates. How can she treat her baby like this? My tongue is so small, it takes eons to clean one dish. Spenser's tongue is huge. A few swipes and the gravy will be gone, leaving me no chance at all. Plus, we have an extra brat (Leo) who will be horning in on my good time. So not fair.

Leo Is Just Alright With Me

Okay - I relent. Leo can have his fun. The "body slam" is kinda fun because he tries to move me and I am immovable. He just bounces off of me, proving that I am way bigger and tougher. Ha!

We've been playing a lot since last night, which makes mom and dad happy. As long as they still realize that I am Alpha Dog, which they do, then all is well. Plus, Leo is still being crated a lot due to his inability to "hold it" in the house. When he is crated I have more opportunities to show him who's boss.

In other news, I've been told that when the weather cools, we will all be taking walks in the evening as a family. Spenser too! Although Spenser will have to be fitted with a special leash which keeps him from pulling. He's such a "special needs" goober. They say we are ALL, including mom and dad, getting soft in the middle. What's wrong with softness? I love burrowing into momma's soft middle. Maybe this phase of theirs won't last long. Here in Texas there are still a lot of hot days left, so perhaps it will soon be forgotten.

Cheers all and have a great weekend!

Depressed

Mom has noticed a big change in my personality the last few days. As much as possible, I stay on her lap, in my bed or under the sofa. And I make sure I have the saddest looking face possible. The situation with Leo is becoming intolerable. I'm not even mad at him anymore, just hurt that he thinks he can march in here and boss me around with that big bearded *stinky* face.

IF momma IS babying me, it's only because she tries to make me feel better about Leo's bullying tactics. He has turned into quite a rapscallion. Oh, he acted so pitiful at first. I knew it was an act! In addition, his incessant barking has nearly ruptured all of our ear drums. You see, I sensed this type of behavior from the beginning; that's why I was snarling at him when he first got here. He needed to be set straight on who is truly in charge, but momma popped me on the hiney every time I tried. Now she's feeling sorry for me, but that's good because I don't get pops on the butt or scolded for taking up for myself any longer.

In other news, my dad's human brother is still here trying to get his life in order after the horrible storm which the humans named "Katrina". It should have been called something else...a mean name...like Hitler...or something. I don't know, I always thought Katrina was a pretty name. Something destructive like that shouldn't have a pretty name. Anyway, Wayne is looking for jobs around here at the area hospitals and may be with us for a while. That's okay, because Wayne is nice to us, plus, we have someone home most of the day.

Rumors

My sources have revealed to me that my new *brother* Leo has been issuing complaints about our digs on a public forum of all places! Not only that, he has called me infantile and criticized mom for babying me. I take complete offense to those remarks. I am NOT a baby and mom does NOT coo at me. Those are completely false rumors with nothing to substantiate them. I categorically deny these accusations! And here I was being nice to Leo the last 2 days.

Well, I've got some dirt on him too. He shivers like a wimp during the night and won't get under the covers to warm himself. Not too bright in my opinion. In addition, he has been walking around since yesterday with an unidentifiable object stuck in his butt hair. So, if he wants to get nasty, let's get it on!

Other than my pesky new brother, life is pretty wonderful. Mom and dad are really sweet to me - and not in a cooing, baby sort of way. They make my life so pleasant with an abundance of food, treats, and love. Why, I bet Queen Elizabeth's corgis aren't treated as special as me. Yes, I am better off than royalty in my estimation.

Body Slamming

Leo has entered a new phase of development starting this morning. There are more facets to his personality than anyone dreamed.

While we were all outside doing our morning eliminations, Leo decided to body slam me, over and over. Mom laughed and said it reminded her of a dance called "the bump". He acted like he was just going to rub his body alongside me, then bam! His hip lurched sideways and he slammed me against the patio wall. I wish mom hadn't laughed. Now he thinks it's a big game. My only option was to run under the lawn table for refuge. Mom felt sorry for me and picked me up.

Mom walked into the house last night and smelled a lot of urine. Boy was she hot! Leo was hastily put in his crate 'cause she knows the rest of us are completely respectful of our abode. I pranced all around right in front of him just to rub it in. He cried and cried, but mom refused to let him out. The ony time he came out was to go outside for a potty break. She found pee on all the rugs in the kitchen and bath and also in the upstairs hall. She was MAD. Ha-ha. Revenge is so sweet. The little rascal is finally getting what he deserves.

Signing Off For The Weekend...

I am s-l-o-w-l-y beginning to accept Leo. He's gone from a lifeless lump to a bundle of energy, quick! Sometimes he barks right in my face though. Mom really needs to teach him some manners, or I'll do it for her and she won't like my teaching methods. Grrrr. Right now I handle the face barking by running under mom's legs or the nearest piece of furniture. I realize he is just a pup, so I don't want to have to ruff him up!

Thanks Again Dogster

My diary is "pick of the day" again. Wow. I'm completely humbled and honored. I would like to thank my loving, supportive family and doggie pals, but especially Dogster for making this all possible. My mom and I LOVE Dogster and we love you! More later....

Psychotherapy Anyone?

Another new member added to the household! When will it ever end? Although, this time, I'm trying to be gracious and understanding. It appears that my daddy's human brother, Wayne, arrived from Bay St. Louis, MS today to escape the conditions from hurricane Katrina. He is a critial care nurse at Hancock Hospital.

Wayne worked for 3 days straight with little food, no working toilets and water up to his waist. I must say I don't understand the need for working toilets, but the humans place a big priority on that. Anyway, I'm told he's here for at least 4 weeks. Four dogs and three humans in one small house is going to be a tad stressful. Warning: he is NOT getting any of my food. Hey, if I play my paws right, he may actually share his food with me. Oh, I like the sound of that.

I was very saddened to hear of all the pet loss across the coast. My little heart was full of grief, knowing how dependant on humans we all are. My mom got really teared up watching the news accounts. We should all join paws, hands and hearts across the country to help those devastated by Katrina. Click here for the Humane Society's Secure Donation Site. Thanks pals!

On Strike

I wonder if mom and dad have noticed that I've gone on strike? From what, you say? Well, for starters, I'm not gonna be sweet anymore, only mad. AND, I will refuse to eat that cr*p they've been giving me, so they will be forced to offer me Leo's food. This is just for starters. I think my plan is brilliant. I'm still in a very bad mood and I definitely do not like what is taking place at home with this new little whipper-snapper thinking he's *all that*. What nerve.

I Am Not A Happy Camper!

Did I really say in my diary just a few days ago that I *liked* Leo? I must've been in a jolly mood that day. I take back everything nice I said. He is stealing all of my attention. To add insult to injury, I have been scolded for trying to eat his food, which is much better than mine. Why does he get the great tasting food?

At first, I kinda felt sorry for the little guy and even tried to protect him, but all bets are off now.

Mom and dad have the nerve to call me *grumpy*. Well, wouldn't you be grumpy if some newcomer came along to steal your spotlight? What do they expect? And I'll tell you another thing: he stinks! Especially his beard. Mom even calls him Mr. Stinky Face.

The only thing I have over him is that I still get to sleep with mom and he doesn't. So there! Hopefully, this will all blow over and my life can return to normal. Otherwise, I'm afraid that I may require intensive psychotherapy. Can anyone refer a reputable analyst?

A New Brother

Has everyone seen my new sibling, Leo (Leonardo)? Click on his picture if you get a minute. Admittedly, he is cute and sweet, but nowhere *near* as cute as me.

I fiercely protected him when he first arrived last weekend 'cause mom said he had a hurt head. I didn't want Spenser and Chance to scare him. They have this obnoxious way of saying hello.

Can you believe I'm not even jealous? Besides, Leo has some really good and different tasting food than the boring fare I have been given day after day. When mom opens his crate door, I have learned to position myself just right so I can grab a few morsels. Mmmm, tasty!

Today is Leo's 5th day in our house and he has gone from being unsteady on his legs to running! It's true! This morning he actually ran.

Mom is going to have to do something about his multiple, daily eliminations though. He goes poo-poo and pee-pee anytime, anywhere. If the mood strikes, he'll go from innocently sitting, to the potty position. Mom and dad don't even fuss about it. They say, "Oh Leo. You're such a potty machine!" If I did that, bet I'd get my butt popped. Maybe it's because he's sick. When he gets well, they'd better make him mind. The rest of us have to.

Other than those minor infractions, I think I'm going to like Leo. He is just my size, he's friendly, he's cute, and most importantly, he has gourmet food which he doesn't mind sharing.

Rock Stars Suck

Hi everyone. Once again, my mom is derelict in helping me with my diary entries. Sigh! And something else has been going on. She's been watching this Rock Star INXS thing in the big black box for 2 weeks. I'm feeling quite put-out with the whole situation. It seems to me that she loves JD, MiG and Marty more than me. She can't even reach in and pet those people for goodness' sake! Here I am, begging for attention, and she's shushing me and waving me away with her hand. Not only that, she makes it so loud that I have to cover my ears with my paws! I have now turned my attention over to Daddy, who appreciates me so much more. I'm gonna sit snuggly with my daddy while she claps and hoots for people that can't even hear her. Grow up mom, please!

Abandonment Issues and Backyard Adventures

My mom has been too busy lately to help me write. She really needs to make more time for me, Lord of the Manor. How dare she devote time to other things? Anyway, I'm baaack.

A couple of weeks ago mom and dad drove away and they were gone for a really long time. Mom at least had the foresight to send her human boy, Michael, to stay with us. The first night, I refused to sleep in the bed with him, but by the 2nd night, I relented, as I was starting to feel quite lonely. I missed my mommy, what can I say?

The first night, “Spenser the Idiot” ate two toads. Michael had to call my mom on the phone because “the Idiot” began foaming at the mouth. Fortunately, the toads in our area are not toxic; they just taste really bad. Spenser either doesn't care or is too stupid to care. From that point on, our caretaker was forced to go on toad patrol before every potty break. I keep telling mom that Spenser needs to go live on a farm somewhere. He’s always on the prowl for rabbits, birds, and now TOADS. Yuk!

Finally, mom and dad returned. We ganged up on them and greeted them in that obnoxious way we have. We were so happy to see them that we didn’t let them know how angry we really were for abandoning us. Michael was a pretty good substitute, so it's all good.

Personal Hygiene Issues

Last night the horrible deed was finally carried out. Mom has been threatening it for weeks. We were forced to endure “The Dreaded Nail Trim”. Only some of us were imposed upon though. One of us managed to escape and I’ll explain that later. First, mom and dad ganged up on me…their poor little orphan. Daddy held on firmly while mom clipped away. I yelped and squirmed with all my might. I WAS FURIOUS. It was of no use; Daddy’s very strong. Afterwards, I was given the obligatory treat, which I busied myself with in an effort to blot out the horrendous incident.

Chance mistakenly thought mom wanted to shake his paw. He loves to give mom paw. She took it in her hand and whipped out the shiny chrome clipper from behind her back. He didn’t realize what was happening at first (he’s a little slow). When he did realize what was happening, he tried to run off, but mom was smart. She brought out treats for Round II. Chance is a sucker for treats. For each nail, he got a piece of a treat. I only got one treat for ALL my nails. How unfair is that?

Spenser let mom clip one nail and he was outta there! He wouldn’t even come to her with the lure of a treat. Spenser has a lot of willpower. Chance and I, not so much. We're treat junkies. Mom lost that battle with Spenser, but I know she'll get him sooner or later.

News Flash

This morning I overheard several key words between my human parents to cause me great alarm. I gathered that Spenser gets to go to work with mommy at the animal emergency clinic tonight – alone. A grave injustice is about to take place. In all fairness though, Spenser has some sort of growth on his rib cage that gives him the special privilege of a one-on-one with one of the docs. I wish Spenser well and all, but I’m feeling very anxious about the entire situation. Chance is so co-dependant, he is going to flip out when mom puts Spenser in the car and drives away. I will be stuck in my crate forced to endure Chance’s incessant whining until daddy gets home.

In other news, Callie came over to play on Wednesday. It took me a good 30 minutes to warm up to her. Once I did, we played and chased each other around the house for a long time. When she left, I was exhausted. Too pooped to do anything but curl up in mom’s arms and drift into peaceful a sleep. That felt really good.

Adventures in the ER

Yesterday, after discussing with daddy what to do with me for the evening, mom turned to me and said, "Daddy’s working late tonight…wanna go for a RIDE?" Well, my vocabulary is proficient enough to know what RIDE means. Plus, she hangs on the word RIDE for emphasis. As soon as the word came out of her mouth, I jumped off her lap, twirled around, and wagged my tail fast and furious. That is my way of saying "Yes Ma’am!"

I did not realize she was taking me to the animal ER though. The action I observed there may have scarred me for life. As soon as we got there, it was hit the deck and run mode. Mom hurriedly put down a blanket for me in a cage where I faced all the action; then she shut the door and started running.

The first thing I saw was a Mastiff named Lexie who had been in labor over 24 hours. Prior to her arrival she delivered 6 puppies at home, but still had 3 puppies in her tummy. Lexie is the biggest creature I have ever seen. Several nurses lifted her up on the table and put a mask over her face. It took 4 people to hold her down, but soon she was out cold. Dr. P. then did the unthinkable: she took a sharp blade and cut Lexie’s stomach open. One puppy was quickly lifted out and it was not breathing. They worked and worked to try to breathe life into the pup, but it was too late. Pups 2 and 3 came out healthy with no problems, except they whined a lot and couldn’t open their eyes.

The next thing to come in was a hit by car dog. He was pretty banged up and rushed to the room where they take pictures (which, by the way, look nothing like the pictures mom takes of us). Next, a tiny kitten arrived who had been attacked by a dog from her own family! She also went to the room where they take pictures. Before I knew it, two neurotic-looking Cocker Spaniels strolled in. Their parents handed my mom a chewed up CD in a plastic bag. They also were sent to the picture room. When Dr. F. looked at their pictures, she determined they needed to vomit. Each Cocker received a shot in the derriere, which they both intensely objected to. Soon thereafter, one of the Cockers threw up a lot of CD pieces and the other one vomited up a bunch of paper.

Other cases I saw were: a ripped off nail, diarrhea with blood, kennel cough, dehydration, diabetes, another hit by car dog, a “dead on arrival” dog, a candle that fell on a cat’s leg (more pictures), and 2 euthanasias.

My daddy finally came to pick me up about 9PM. I was never so happy to see my daddy. What a night! I don’t know how mom deals with that place twice a week. Perhaps that is why she's always so happy to see me when she comes home.

Mailbox Meanderings

Last night, mom was expecting her human child to knock on the front door at any moment. Hearing a knock, she flung the door open, but instead of her boy, two frightened sales people stood in horror. That's because Chance rushed at them in his overzealous manner to greet them with his wet nose. The lady threw her arms up in the air and screamed. Mom yelled Chance’s name and motioned him back inside. The little brown-noser respectfully submitted to her command.

Seeing a perfect opportunity, I slipped out the door as Chance was coming in. The mailboxes had not been marked in quite some time, so I did not want to squander my good fortune. I ran down the street, lifting my leg high on each box. Mom was really mad at me, yelling my name and demanding that I return to her. Couldn't she see I was working the block? When her brisk walk turned into a run, I knew the jig was up, so I emptied myself at the last mailbox and squatted down to let her know I surrendered.

Spenser was the only one who did not go outside and Chance quickly obeyed mom’s command to return to the den. Those two boot-lickers have made me look bad. Now I have been completely exposed as the rebellious one of the pack. No matter, I have made my presence known to every home on our side of the street. The reprimand I received was worth it I suppose. Besides, mom never stays mad at me for long. How could she? My big black eyes turn her into mush every single time.

Communication is Everything

As any good dog knows, a decent vocabulary is necessary to function properly within the human pack. “Outside”, “ride”, “treat”, “food”, “time to eat”, “toy”, “night-night”, and “good boy” are words which keep me well-informed.

Other cues are vital as well. If the door is opened where my leash sits, then I know we’re going to leave the house and go on an adventure. If the treat jar is opened after I return from performing *unmentionable duties*, then I sit up straight and wait patiently for my goody. If the parents stuff my Kong toy with liver paste, I run like the wind to my crate. Kongs stuffed with treats always mean that mom and dad are going to be gone for a few hours. They think it helps pass my time in the crate, but I have news for them; I can lick out that liver paste in a matter of minutes.

It’s easy to figure the human parents out, but you have to pay close attention. It takes a life of dedication to master it. One must be a keen observer of body language and human utterances. Cadence is important as well. For instance, I know mom is pleased with me when she says in her sing-song voice, “Good boy, Sparky”. The sing-song voice is the best.

That's all the advice I have for now. Toodle-oo all.

Hot as Hades in Texas

Boy, yesterday was HOT! I did my business and trotted right back to the door. I was very clear in signaling my desire to go back inside. The poor dog next door and my neighbor across the alley have to live outside all the time. They've barked their objections night and day, to no avail.

Our local emergency vet clinic saw three cases of heat stroke in dogs on Saturday. Two had to be euthanized and one died before it even got to the hospital. Don't humans know that if we're not accustomed to extreme heat yet, it can kill you? One lady said her dog had only been outside for 2 hours and it collapsed. I'm glad my mom knows all this stuff and keeps me and my brothers out of danger.

On a happier note, I'm still smelling sweet from my bath, which affords me great cuddle time with mom and dad...until I yawn. For some reason my yawn hangs in the air for a while which makes mom wrinkle her nose. I think it's a wonderful smell. I don't know why she objects to it.

Bathing Adventures

We were all enjoying our evening in the backyard last night when mom walked outside holding a bottle filled with green, apple-flavored liquid. Innocently, we all ran up to her excitedly, thinking it was a new kind of treat. WRONG!

First, she went to the side yard and turned on the water hose. Next, she tried to coax Spenser over to the hose which by now was spewing and spurting water and making scary noises. He laid down far away from it and refused to come. All the coaxing in the world could not get Spenser near that hose, so mom dragged him by the collar and pointed the end of the hose at him and a huge gush of water drenched him.

Chance and I fled the scene as soon as we realized what was going on. I hid behind a bush and Chance was under the window trying to look inconspicuous.

After a while Spenser calmed down and seemed to enjoy it. Mom poured the apple-smelling stuff all over him and rubbed it in until it was all foamy and white. Out came the volcanic hose to drench him again, but this time, he didn't try to run away. He actually seemed to like it. After it was all over, he ran around and around, shaking his coat and getting everyone in his path wet.

Chance was next and he was not as accepting of the situation as Spenser. Mom achieved her goal, but it was a battle from start to finish. She was completely soaked from head to toe. Her glasses slid right off her face.

Knowing I was next, I tried to hide from the cruelty I knew awaited me; however, mom found me cowering near the tropical plants. She scooped me up and brought me indoors. Ah! I thought I was going to avoid the torture, but it was not to be. She marched upstairs with me in her arms, holding the apple liquid and entered the bathroom. She placed me in that deep abyss she calls her beautiful garden tub and nearly drowned me. And I'm not exaggerating either!

We're all clean as whistles now. Mom and Dad no longer say, "Pew! You stink!" They gush and say how good we smell and how soft our fur is. I guess it was worth it; however, I did hear something this morning about nail trims (yikes!)...will keep you posted.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

For my super special present to Daddy, I've decided to give him a big pooch smooch - right on the mouth. He can't resist me or my doggie-style kisses. Who can? I am irresistible. Then, I will wag my tail to show him how happy I am that he has lived another year. After that, I will climb up the chair and perch on his shoulder, all the while licking his face and getting his glasses all slimed up. He just loves that.

Mom and Dad casually mentioned that they are going to Outback tonight for a big, juicy steak. They're so nonchalant about it, like it's no big deal. Are they kidding?! This is huge! Mmmmmm...the thought of that filet mignon makes me drool and my tail is wagging so fast I'm almost coming off the ground. I bet if I rub my scent all over them before they leave, they will think of me at the dinner table and bring back a little nibble. I'll do anything to get a bite of that steak.

I sound like an addict, don't I?

Dietary Indiscretions

This week I've been a little under the weather. Dad thinks it's because I'm getting too much people food. My dietary indiscretions should be my own business. Even though I rule the world, I don't rule the kitchen (how can that be?) so I must rely on begging for any sort of tasty morsels. Barbecue pulled pork has been on the menu the last 2 nights. Yummeeeee! Despite my pleading black eyes, Dad only gave me the tiniest crumb from his English muffin this morning. As soon as my perkiness returns, I'm hoping they'll forget about all this and return to giving me their leftovers. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are the few bright spots in my otherwise long and boring days on earth.

I Was Tortured

Mom announced the other night that we were going to take "pictures" for the Mother's Day Stroll on Dogster. Out came the camera contraption, a clicking sound, and then a bright light which blinded me for several seconds. Just as I was recovering, Dad clicked again. That camera-thingy is nothing but a torture device. They might as well declare war on us. Spenser and Chance agreed with me for once.

Chance acted like he had rigor mortis when mom tried to make him sit next to her. You can see poor Chance panting in the picture. Spenser twirled around like a tornado for several minutes and totally disobeyed the "sit" command. Mom was getting really flustered. Finally, he plopped on the floor, worn out and dizzy. Mom threw herself over him, put him in a head-lock, and yelled, "Hurry Daddy, take it now!"

Our sister Callie on the other hand, is like a supermodel. She has her sexy pose with the sock in her mouth, her wind-blown look, the Farrah smile, etc. I'm sure her cuteness lets her get away with anything. And she's not afraid of the blinding, torture device either.

I'm so glad the photo session is over. Hopefully, we won't be forced to endure that exercise again until Christmas!

Thanks, Dogster!

My diary was the Featured Diary of the Day on Saturday. Thank you Dogster. My mom and I were so excited. More new friends and e-mail messages. Can't have enough of those, right? I love to receive nice, happy thoughts from people all over the world. I'm a tough guy on the outside, but inside, I'm all sweet and gushy (according to my peoples).

There's been a new development when mom comes home from work late at night. Spenser and I bark and growl over who gets to be closest to mom on the bed. We argue for about five minutes and finally settle in. Mom is the true alpha of our pack, so we eventually give it up when she fusses at us. This happens every single night. I'm not about to give up the choice spot, under the covers, next to her knees. Spenser takes up half the bed, the big goon. He has another thing coming if he thinks I'm going to let him take over.

Chance has some weird phobia about being on furniture. Mom says he's always been that way. Even if she coaxes, he may jump on the bed for a few seconds on rare occasions, then gets a scared look in his eyes and jumps down. More room for me is how I look at it. His phobia is my gain. Now, if I could only get Spenser to mind me! There's no way I'm going to let that big oaf edge me off the bed. The way I see it, I'm second in command and he has to obey my wishes. I'm going to get him trained if it's the last thing I do! Grrrr.

The Rabbits Have Returned

Rabbits are back on our turf again! Man, I am chompin' at the bit every five minutes to be let outside. Mom and Dad won't allow us to torture the furry little creatures, the big meanies. Seems like the rabbits should be able to figure out that our yard is not the safest place in the neighborhood to hang out. There are mounds of proof all over the place. If Spenser gets ahold of one, there's going to be hell to pay!

Everyone that's seen my "ear" picture thinks I look tough. Perhaps all the other canines will steer clear now and I can rule the world. I thought I already did, but my gruff exterior may make it a bit easier. People say I'm small, but I see something completely different when I look in the mirror. Why, I'm as big as a Great Dane in my eyes.

Alert Level Raised

The terror alert level in our house has been raised to Red, effective immediately. Callie will be here in less than 2 weeks instead of 6 weeks as previously planned. I have been duly warned and I'm already thinking of ways to keep my ears protected when she's around. Guess they're just going to be an easy target from here on out. I wish Callie would follow my barking orders as Spenser and Chance do. Confounding!

My mom is all excited that Callie is coming home for good. I think it's because she comes attached with someone she calls her "precious daughter Autumn", whom I also have affection for. I'm sure I will learn to adapt to the changes. If it makes Mom happy, then I'm happy. Besides, I don't think Callie meant to tear a chunk of my ear off. She seemed repentant afterwards and she is a lot of fun other than that one episode. Especially when we chase each other around the house.

I Have a New Toy...Oh Joy

Looks like mommy's 2nd job isn't so bad after all. She went to a meeting last night and brought back the coolest toy just for me. She won it in a contest. Best of all, it's a CAT and I get to bite and chew until my heart's content! The insides are crunchy, like paper, which I love to destroy whenever I have the chance. She explained that she had a choice of dog chews, a coffee cup or a nail trimmer (ewwww!), but she thought of me first. What a great mom! I spent all last night and all morning guarding it with all my might. If I have to lose part of my other ear in order to protect my new possession...so be it. It's a big job being a little toot!

My Mom Works Too Much

This morning I was in the kitchen with mom and dad hoping for crumbs or at least a good belly rub, when dad mentions mommy's "work schedule". I know what that means. Now I will be missing mom the next 5 days for hours and hours each day. In doggie time, that adds up to...a good portion of my life. I wish she didn't have to leave and come home so late at night. She did say that she would take me to work with her tonight so I can have my stitches checked. Yay! I get to go for a ride! Spenser and Chance will be so envious.

The Big Box

The day after the horrible fight, my mom and Callie's mom watched what they called a dvd. It was all about a dog named Skip. He got to do all kinds of things that I am forbidden to do, such as drinking out of the toilet, going inside the grocery store to receive treats, and running loose outside. Throughout the whole thing they were either making giggling sounds or their eyes were running like faucets. Mom said she couldn't bear to see the end because it makes her eyes and nose leak really bad, so she left the room. I can't understand how they can look at life through a big box for so long. I'd rather be outside and watch the world go by that way.

On The Mend

Even though I am recovering from surgery, guard duty is still high on my list of priorities. From my towering position on the ottoman, I am able to control Spenser and Chance quite nicely. The second they go for one of my toys (or even theirs) I soar through the air like a bullet, growl fiercely and chase them away. They usually respond by tucking their tails and turning away from me. Mom says they look as though a bumble bee has just stung them. Sometimes, Spenser will rebel by barking loudly. If he does that, Mommy shouts my name and with head hung low (to show how obedient I am) I walk slowly over and snuggle close to her. If I manage to look particularly pitiful, she will say, "Good boy!" in that sweet, sappy voice. I thank her profusely by thumping my tail and licking her face.

***update - sympathy letter 4/27/05***

Dear Sparky,

As your Aunt, I wanted to extend my fondest wishes for a speedy recovery. I was horrified to hear the news of your tragic run-in with your sister. I was incapcitated for days from worry!

But I know you are a survivor (I can picture you running up the Philadelphia steps just like Sylvester Stallone did in Rocky) overcoming your unfortunate accident.

Here's a tip: If I were you, when Callie comes for another visit I would keep both eyes and one and half ears (sorry) open! Be aware, alert and on guard.

I'm sure Callie is sorry for the whole Mike Tyson/Evander Holyfield incident and would never do it again - but play it safe.

Well, again, hoping you make a full recovery. I saw your picture and I think it only adds to your already wonderful character.

Toodles,

Aunt Jo Anne

P.S. Dogs rule, cats drool!!!

Milking My Injury For All It's Worth

Since my mishap 3 days ago, Mom bought me two new toys, a thick new blankie and a big bag of Riblets! I just keep pouring it on with my huge soulful eyes and she falls for it every time. She's wrapped around my little dewclaw I tell ya. So is Dad. He's been talking so sweet to me, like I'm one of the little humans. My injury will work to my complete advantage if I play all my doggie bones right. I will outsmart my humans and live a life of sheer luxury. My injured ear will be a permanent reminder of the pain and misery I have suffered at the paws (and teeth) of another, which I will fully use to further my cause. Aahhh. I am truly Master of My Domain.

Easter Weekend and the Big Fight

Callie came to visit from Memphis. I overheard the humans say that she will be moving here permanently in May. This could pose a serious threat to my very existence, especially after what happened on Saturday.

You see, I took it upon myself to guard her large bag of puppy food. They tried to hide it from me in the upstairs bedroom, but my superior smelling abilities sniffed it out in no time. Mommy shooed me away from the bag Friday night and shut the door right in my face. The nerve! I sat by the door, awaiting my opportunity, as I know from experience that all doors are opened again eventually.

The next morning, Mommy was in the shower and Callie's mommy had left the bedroom for a split second when something terrible happened. I'm embarrassed to admit that I was overpowered by Callie and she ripped my ear in half. I ran and hid under Mommy's bed. As I was shaking my head, blood was splattering all over the room. I was completely traumatized. Callie's mom was crying.

Lucky for me my Mom works at a vet hospital and I go to work with her a lot, so everyone knows me and loves me. Before they operated, some of the nurses made bunny ears out of gauze and placed a colorful wrap around my head (see picture above). Glad someone was getting enjoyment out of my painful ordeal. Soon, a mask was put over my face and before I knew it, the room was getting hazy, and then I was dreaming of that big bag of puppy food....and it was all mine!

Dr. C. sewed my ear back together, but now it looks funny and it hurts. I will sport my war wound proudly though so other canines will see how tough I am and that I should not be messed with.

Plea to Mommy

Lately, my Mommy has been gone a lot and I miss our cuddle time. I claw and beg and plead with my huge eyes, and she says she has to leave so she can bring home the bacon. BACON??!!! Where is it then? I never see her bring home any bacon! Something is fishy. She explained that she has to leave and come back in order to provide me with the luxurious lifestyle to which I've become accustomed. I'd rather have her home, planted on the couch, for my good pleasure (with the bacon).

Trip Notes

The trip to Memphis seemed like an eternity. It took at least one doggy year off my life.

Callie was overjoyed to see me, but I was dog-tired (excuse the expression) from the road trip. She kept pouncing on me. I couldn't let on that I was frightened to death, so I snarled and snipped and growled as mean as possible. Mommy explained that she just wanted to play. Her definition of play is a little different from mine to say the least.

When I got back home Spenser and Chance sniffed the life out of me. Their noses were asking where I was and who I was with. The questioning was relentless. Talk about the third degree! I had to nip at them and show my fierce pearly whites when they got too nosy. Finally, they obtained their information and left me alone. Geesh! My brothers act like bloodhounds from the KGB.