Bye, Spenser!

All last week I sensed Spenser failing. Mom's human boy, Greg, came to visit yesterday and cried a river of tears over him. Spenser tried to tell him it would be okay, but only Chance was able to put a paw on his shoulder to convey comfort. Spenser was having trouble breathing and his eyes were bloodshot and tired. It seemed he couldn't focus on anything. It was a sad, sad sight. The Beast, my nemesis, was growing dim. I don't know what the humans did, but they all got in the car and took him away. Mom returned later that night holding his leash and collar. Spenser was no longer with them. Chance and I sniffed, begging to know more, but they only said he had crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and we could not see him until we cross it ourselves one day.

Spenser, I'm sorry I bossed you around so much in life and hope you will forgive this grumpy, ol' fella. I really did love ya, man! You were a beast because of your size, but inside you were a true gentleman.

Check Me Out!

Check it out!

Leo

Yesterday, we had visitors, both canine and human, but what I want to discuss is the canine, Leo. He looks so cute in the picture, doesn't he? Well, let me tell you, he has the loudest bark ever! My poor ears. This is the only time I have regretted their erectness on my head. Any out-of-the-ordinary sound caused Leo to produce a bark so shrill that it no doubt interrupted radio signals for at least a 5 mile radius. I must admit that while he is handsome and sweet, his bark needs some refinement. Sometimes, he even gets my brothers so worked up that they throw their heads back and howl, like they're in a contest. Since this barbaric display is beneath me, my solace is to search for the nearest lap, and pray for peace.

Daddy's Girl

Yes, it's true. I am enamored with my daddy. He's the number one human in my book. Mom never fails to remind me that SHE is the one who rescued me and that daddy didn't even believe I was a dog at first because apparently, I was the size of a hamster when they took me in. Clearly, she's just trying to jockey into the number one position. Sorry mom, I love you, but daddy is just...er...better. I think she's okay with that since bossy Spark Plug is her number one and vice-versa.

Speaking of Sparky, mom brought home two new toys yesterday; one for me and one for Sparky. That devilish scoundrel wanted both toys for himself! After he slobbered on mine, it was hardly palatable after that. I took one whiff of the foul odor he smeared on its soft fur and quickly lost interest. I expressed my displeasure by walking away and pouting. Greedy pig.

To add insult to injury, mom got into one of her photography moods, which would be okay, but she caught me during some of my worst moments, and I suspect it was intentional. I protested publication of these dreadful photos, but she insists, so here they are. Don't judge me.

New toy(s)!

Yesterday I received a brand new toy and I adore it! Mom tried to give Izzy one just like it and she rudely turned her nose up at it and walked away! I would never act in such a despicable manner towards mom. Izzy's rejected toy was given to me because I'm such a devoted, loyal companion.

Here I am having a delightful time. These are the perfect size. I can squeak them all day if I want. If I wear it out, there's a spare squeaker. Thanks, mom!

I really wish mom didn't have to document every detail of my life.

I am really trying to communicate with my expression to give me my space and she just doesn't seem to get it. *sigh*

Mutiny

Last night I was involved in a nasty altercation with Chance, the lesser beast of the pack. I was simply doing my job, ensuring the rules - my rules - were being obeyed. We had recently finished eating dinner with mom; dad had just arrived home, so I knew more crumbs were forthcoming. Chance was getting a little too chummy with dad too quickly which infuriated me. This was a clear attempt to usurp my authority and gain a higher position at my expense.

I warned him with a low, authoritative growl to back away, but the mulish creature ignored me! Insubordination from lower pack members is forbidden in my rulebook; therefore, I was forced to issue a harsher edict with a series of growls and lunges which meant, “Take another step and you’re going to regret it.”

Chance has always accepted his place within the pack, and while he might resist my commands at times, he usually concedes. Instead, he brazenly violated my last order, which gave me no other option but to hurl my entire body into him with full force. This action caused Chance to retaliate in a most violent manner, and before I knew it, he brutishly tossed me onto my back with his mouth, sinking his teeth into my neck. I struggled and fought to free myself from his surprisingly vicious attack. If dad had not been standing there, I may have drawn my last breath, right there by the stove, the appliance I treasure the most.

Once dad forced Chance to let me go, I walked slowly over to mom with the most pathetic look I could muster, a big tuft of Chance’s fur hanging from the corner of my mouth. I begged her with my eyes to defend my honor by flogging him in front of everyone. Instead, I received a very humiliating reprimand. I was informed that I am not the boss of anyone in the house, and furthermore, if I don’t mind my P’s and Q’s, I might not be so lucky next time. Humph! I don’t care what they say, I am chief dog around here!

I spent the entire day at the vet’s office getting the royal treatment. Dad even brought my cushy bed for me to loll around in. I had a very exciting day which helped put the whole ghastly experience behind me.

Chihuahua Party Circuit?

These look like nice canines. Where are these parties I seem to be missing out on?

see more puppies

I'm Missing Out!

Where are these parties? I want to get on the social circuit.

see more puppies

Izzy, Poo

Izzy remains persistent in her efforts to annoy me at bedtime. To make matters worse, she clamors to get on mom's lap when I'm on there! Surprise, surprise. *smirk* I don't know how much more of this brat I can take. Seriously. It's no fun when I have to share mom. *pouts*

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

Now this looks like MY kind of movie! 50 Warrior, 50% Lover, 100% Chihuahua! Love it. BOL!

New Development

Izzy is seriously starting to chap my tail. There are two crucial events each day that I look forward to with great anticipation. One is mealtime and the other is bedtime. It's bad enough that Izzy horns in on my plate licking, completely ignoring my angry growls, but when she begs to get into bed with mom and me at the end of the day, that’s a serious violation of the highest order.

When mom and I started sleeping in the big, tall bed due to daddy's snoring, I was forced to learn to climb a set of rickety steps in order to have bed privileges. It took a while, but I persevered. Mom tried to teach Izzy and gave up in no time at all. She scoops her up and Izzy immediately burrows underneath the covers to nestle into the softest part of mom's body: her midsection. She’s all, "Oh, Izzy's so small. There's no way she can climb those steps." They never make her work for things like I am forced to do.

Since this latest development, I am letting my contempt for the situation be known by pouting waiting under the bed until Izzy leaves to go night-night with daddy. Thankfully, her time with mom is only for a few minutes, which allows me to have the last bark. Once Izzy’s out of the room, I emerge from underneath the bed and jump confidently onto the soft mattress next to mom.

Why must I share my abode with this poopy girl and the other two beasts? I want to be an only dog, dangit!

Finally...

special treats named in my honor.

Sparky & Spenser

I tolerate this behavior from the two of them every single day - sometimes several times a day. *sigh* I hate to be a whistle blower, but Sparky is chief instigator. His disdain for Spenser has become almost legendary. The tiniest infraction from Spenser unleashes a viciousness in Sparky that is unmatched. I never want to be the recipient of his fury. This type of stress is extremely detrimental to my beauty and inner peace.

Dog Speak

Did you know that canines have their own internet slang and abbreviations? As part of your continuing education, I have assembled a short list.

Pawrents
Pawsome
Pawsitive
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOL - bark out loud
PITT - pain in the tail
ROTFLMTO - rolling on the floor laughing my tail off
LMTO - laughing my tail off
OTOP - on the other paw
BAYL - bark at you later
YTDNM - you're the dog now, man

Torture

This morning, Daddy took me for a ride in his automobile - a harrowing experience each time I've been subjected to it. I was aghast that he would deliberately torture me this way, fully cognizant of my fear of fast moving contraptions. Soon, however, all was revealed as we pulled up to Dr. Fred's office building. As it turned out, my torment was just beginning.

Sparky clued me in on Dr. Fred a while back as he had two prior run-ins with this brutish character. I was warned that the humans think highly of him, but I should be on guard because he has a nefarious propensity directed specifically at canines - poking, prodding, and causing distress for no good reason whatsoever. He also has a team of minions that carry out his despicable requests.

Daddy swaddled me in my softest blanket so I'd feel secure, but I still shook with fear, dreading what was in store.

It was worse than I thought. My lovely nails were rudely clipped, a sharp point was inserted into my delicate arm, and my teeth were scraped with a cold, silver object. That was the last straw. Dr. Fred’s co-conspirators got an earful when that metal object was pressed against my pearly whites. My air of refinement vanished as I squabbled and yelped, reduced to the ilk of a junkyard dog. Why, oh why are my mettle and civility repeatedly put to the test? I would appreciate just a modicum of respect in view of my culture and petite frame. Just as Sparky predicted, Daddy paid no mind to these uncivilized ruffians.

Apparently, it's good news that my open fontanel has almost completely closed and my blood work returned normal. Oh, and I am free of heartworms. Good gracious, the thought of having worms anywhere on or in me is completely and utterly repulsive. Thank goodness I was spared THAT humiliation.

At the end of the visit, Daddy asked Dr. Fred why my tongue always hangs outside my mouth. He said, "She doesn't like Obama." They both doubled over with laughter. Once Dr. Fred recovered from his own joke, he explained that I have a short mandible, causing the anomaly. Whew! I thought I had an abnormally large tongue. Abbreviated mandible sounds much more tasteful than a mammoth tongue.

Never Trust a Cat

My First Party

Strange sounds pierced my earsSee my shocked expressionSparky was on the lookout for intruders, ready to defend my honorSoon, however, he became weary from all the excitement and too much kibbleWhen they started throwing this object, I was afraid I might be nextA horrible winged creature even terrorized me for part of the eveningI felt safe with this strong bloke, spending as much time on his lap as he would allowI was dying for a piece of cake, but I wasn't even allowed a tiny crumb

Par-TAY

Saturday afternoon mom suddenly asks, "Sparky, you wanna go party?"

I thought she said potty, but she opened the garage door instead of the patio door, and at that moment I realized she meant "PAR-TAY!" I dashed out to the garage and sat beside the car door to make sure she knew that my answer was "YES!"

Dad packed the car with food, drinks, and other assorted items. We drove a long way to a house where all my favorite humans were gathered. They were eating, drinking, and playing loud music. They also played frisbee outside until a good natured, but uncouth pit bull, took a big steaming crap right in the middle of the yard WHILE THEY WERE PLAYING! It was so stinky mom ran away gagging. There was no more frisbee playing after that.

I'm afraid my partying days are behind me. Mom snapped this picture of me several hours later:

Sunshine and Roses

I'm normally a very good girl, but I must admit, there are days when minor flaws are exposed. While I would like to perpetuate the notion that I'm always as genteel as my middle name implies, it just isn't so. I'm nothing if not honest.

One of my shortcomings has been captured on video for your entertainment. I suspect there are others like me who are not all sunshine and roses when they are rudely awakened with a video camera shoved in their face. Given this set of circumstances, I think a growl or two is quite understandable. In fact, my reaction is mild compared to some of those Hollywood brats. I am generally mindful of my manners, but even a well-bred girl such as myself has her limits.

Fashion Faux Pas

When I was a baby, mom tried to dress me up in dreadful girly clothes. Clearly, she has no taste.

Take a look at this ill-fitting garment I was forced to wear at age 4 months. I mean, really. The colors are garish and the stripes make me look fat. Anyway, who wears a collar with a tank top? I use this picture as a "what not to wear" sort of warning to hopefully spare other canines the same embarrassment.

Thank goodness she came to her senses and I am no longer forced to wear those unflattering frocks. I prefer understated fashion, such as my latest look which consists of a patent leather pink color with my name spelled out in diamonds. IZZY looks so sophisticated spelled out on my neck. Tres chic, eh?

Desertion

I can hardly wait for my humans to be home on the weekends in order to give me their undivided attention. Most weekends, it works out splendidly. This past Friday, however, things started off a little shaky. First, the humans took out the big zippered bags from the top closet shelf. Immediately, Chance began to whine. Really, he sobbed like a baby. This got all the rest of us in a tizzy.

We had good reason to worry, too. The humans threw their clothes in those big bags and left with them early the next morning. They were gone before we even had a chance to say "woof". Dad put Izzy in the crate with food and the rest of us were left to fend for ourselves.

Later, mom’s younger human boy came over and spent the night. He was cool because he brought Leo over. We played and played.

Even though I was having fun, I kept wondering where our parents were and when they planned to return. I worried they may not make it back, so I had some posters made. The reward was going to be several liver treats - pretty tempting, huh?

Finally, late yesterday afternoon, they arrived home, tired and smelling of tamales. I was so overjoyed, I didn't even care that they didn't bring me a doggie bag. I was stuck to mom like glue for the rest of the night.

I've decided that the next time they get those bags down from the closet shelf, I'm going to jump in there and hide under the clothes when they're not looking.

Izzy the Pig

Sunday morning Daddy put food in our bowls as usual. Izzy went straight for our my bowl without a second glance to see if I might want to go first. She turned into a ravenous little pig, right before my eyes, gobbling up the morsels before I even had a chance to react. I stood behind her waiting patiently for my turn and also to let her know that - hello! - others are hungry, too. She responded by growling, showing her teeth, and glaring at me. The nerve! I thought mom might come to my rescue, but she only laughed, muttering something about how I've met my match. Whatever! Needless to say, my feelings were hurt, so I went and stood close to mom hoping for some comfort, or at least a few tidbits of human food. All I received were a couple of obligatory pats on the head. Hmph! When did I lose control?

Sparky No Longer Rules

Sunday morning I found myself inexplicably famished, so when daddy put food in my our bowl, I made a bee line for it. Really, I was so ravenous, I was in danger of collapse.

Sparky, in his controlling way, felt it was his duty to supervise every morsel I put into my mouth by standing directly behind me. Well, I was very put out with this scenario. I'm afraid I was forced to exhibit another side of my personality which may very well damage my sweet reputation. His presence was rather intimidating to say the least, so I growled softly in between bites to voice my displeasure. Sparky was undeterred by this warning, however, so I turned around, glared at him, and growled louder, showing my teeth this time. Daddy also observed that my fur was standing on end. It took three stern warnings before he finally got the message.

Realizing that I meant business, Sparky sulked over to mom with his ears down and a wounded look on his face. Further humiliation ensued by mom laughing at him. She said, "Sparky, you finally met your match!" BOL!

I didn't mean to cause my chi brother embarrassement, but he forced my hand. After all, it was boorish behavior on Sparky's part, so I can hardly be held responsible for my actions.

Do I get credit for leaving him some crumbs?

Porn Dogs

Hubba hubba! Look at these sexy girls.

Story Time!

Goody! Daddy's gonna read me a story.
Let me give it my scent of approval, first. Wait, this denim tastes good.
This stock market story is making me very sleepy.

Toothacres

Father's Day started out deliciously with mom barbecuing on the patio. Two paws up for the new barbecue sauce with Guinness beer in it! YUM-MEE!

After our fill of chicken, we rode out to Arbor Hills Nature Conservatory where I almost fainted from the heat. So did mom.

The day ended in a most interesting manner: visiting a graveyard. Not just any graveyard, but a pet cemetery called Toothacres. Apparently, mom and dad had other dogs before me, but they crossed the Rainbow Bridge before I was born and are buried at Toothacres.

Something about that place creeped me out. My sniffer went bananas and I couldn't stop zig-zagging around those carved stones. I think I had what they call the heebie geebies. Fortunately, we didn't hang around there for long.

Izzy's Blog

Mom is forcing me to advertise Izzy's new blog in this post. I deeply resent this intrusion into my space with every strand of my fur. Okay, I've barked my peace, so go visit if you must. This is all the press she gets, though. *pouts*

Greetings!

Welcome to my new abode! Since Sparky has his own blog, I felt it was completely reasonable to request a space, too. Besides, he only portrays our life from his point of view, which can be slightly inaccurate at times. I don't want to malign Sparky, or accuse him of lying since he is merely relating things from his perspective, but I do feel it is only fair that my side be told as well. He does treat me somewhat better than Spenser and Chance, but I do get the feeling that he would prefer I disappear into the night, never to return. Just think of the domination we could achieve by joining forces – his craftiness and brawn coupled with my intelligence and refinement. I shall win him over, yet..

Ooops!

Hmm.....wonder what happened to Izzy's new toy? Too bad, so sad.

Well, I would've gotten away with it, but I choked on the stuffing for several minutes. I was forced to go to mom for help. Drats! I must learn to be more cunning.

All Is Well

Last night dad gave me the last of that nasty pink liquid they call medicine. I'm as good as new now and hope to avoid fiascos like that in the future. Even if I forget, mom and dad have promised never to give me a ginormous treat like that again.

Yesterday, I was left in charge of the pack while mom and dad went out. I don't know where they went, but they were gone a very long time and returned to us smelling suspiciously of food. I think it was enchiladas, but there was a strong lime/tequila odor as well, so I can't be sure. I did notice there was no doggie bag for us, though. What nerve. Is that how you treat a supervisor? I kept everyone in line all afternoon and it was not an easy job.

All was forgiven later, when we were able to cuddle on the couch together - my 2nd favorite activity behind getting morsels of human food.

My Crappy Weekend

Friday night, mom came home with 2 plastic bags filled with goodies - all for me us! The suspense was killing me as she dug through the bags, pulling out the new packages one at a time and setting them on the counter. Was it toys, treats, or both?! Her intent was to give us the goodies at the same time, so it took a while to open all the packaging and get everything ready for the BIG HANDOUT. My tail was wagging so fast, I nearly fell over. Spenser placed his nose on the counter which mom knew was an unfair advantage, so she shooed him off, bopping him lightly on the nose. "No Spenser, you have to wait." Good thing she reprimanded him because I was about to read him his rights!

Finally, after hours of waiting, she gave each of us a blue ball. Inside the ball was a large treat. Immediately, I noticed that Spenser and Chance had larger treats than mine, so I devised a plan to hide mine behind the sofa, then charge at Spenser forcefully in hopes that he would become so afraid that he'd run away like the big scaredy cat he is. At that point, I would carry his treat to my special place behind the couch, where I would savor both of them while at the same time going “neener, neener” from my safe place. Well, my plan backfired. Spenser bared his teeth and barked right back at me. His bark was so loud it nearly blew me backwards across the room. Spit even flew out of his mouth! Ah well, no harm, no foul, I coolly returned to my special place and started working on my little ball, trying feverishly to pop the treat disc out.

Spenser and Chance popped their treats out in no time flat. I ventured out from behind the couch to see what crumbs I could get from them, but they were gnawing away with such ferocity that I decided to play it safe, going back to my own scrawny little ball. Pretty soon though, I was able to get the treat out. I ate incredibly fast so that no one else could get it. Yay me!

The next day I pooped several times and my poopies had blood in it. I also threw up. Mom went out for a bit and when she came back, there was more poop and more vomit. Dad asked if we should go to the emergency room. Mom said to wait another day and see what happens. In the meantime, she checked my gum color and watched me like a hawk the rest of the day.

That night, as mom and I snuggled in bed, I moaned and groaned. During the night, I pooped again, but when Mom inspected it the next morning, there was no blood. Thinking I was getting better, she went to the movie with a friend and stayed gone for a long time. When she returned, I had more accidents in the house, including vomit. Daddy said we had run out of carpet cleaner. Since my gum color was fine and I had drunk a little water, mom and dad decided I would see Dr. Fred on Monday morning (today). Daddy even canceled his visit to the dentist, he was so worried about me.

Dr. Fred's nurses are sadistic! They stuck two contraptions up my bum, probed me all over, and peered into my mouth and ears. My displeasure was evident, but they didn't seem to care. Doc said my poop sample indicated that I had something called "enteritis". I was sent home on antibiotics, a liquid medication, and 3 cans of bland food. My $12 treat ended up costing an additional $71, lost sleep, and a new bottle of carpet cleaner.

Sadly, my body has betrayed me, because I'm pretty sure mom will never buy me a treat like that again.

Chihuahua vs Doberman

Can you believe this little wimp was too scared to snatch the bone from that ogre? I would've had that bone in my mouth before you could say "boo". It's all in the attitude, people.

I'm Baaack!

I miss journaling. Of course, mom has to bring my thoughts to life since my delicate paws are not equipped for the mundane task of typing. Pack leaders never perform menial labor, anyway. Where has she been lately, you ask? I can't prove it, but I suspect she has been doing her own journaling at my expense. Well, that's about to change. I do have a life and I want it reported!

For instance, today mom came home and completely threw me off schedule by going straight to the computer instead of to the refrigerator. I was aghast! 'What, no dinner?' I pleaded with my eyes. She continued to ignore me and type on the computer, while I sat there starving. Finally, an hour later she went downstairs and heated up a can of chicken and dumplings which has been our standby all week, and I must admit, it is yummy. For dessert we had a Nutty Buddy - that's my favorite part. Unfortunately, it's also the favorite of Izzy, Chance and Spenser. By the time mom divides the last little bit into four sections, it's hardly worth salivating for.

See, I do have important things going on in my life.

Well, that's enough thinking for one day; I need another nap.

Post Christmas Update

Merry post Christmas, my pawesome pup pals! I hope everyone's day was fantastic!

Moi? My joyous holiday spirit quickly dissipated yesterday when Spenser destroyed the new stuffed toy Izzy and I received for Christmas. He made mince meat out of it in no time flat. It was blue and soft and squeaky. Izzy and I had just been playing tug-of-war with it not an hour before. I would love to be able to exact revenge by shredding his new bone to bits, but since that's impossible, I will continue my verbal lashings every time he comes near me or Mom. Watching him flinch when I lunge at him with my teeth bared gives me great pleasure. *insert diabolical barks here*

The humans bought themselves a stupid video game called Guitar Hero III. Instead of cuddling with me, Mom straps a guitar around her chest every night for hours. What's up with that? It's a cold piece of plastic and it's annoyingly loud. But like a good dog, I keep her spot on the couch warm until she eventually puts the noisy game away.

Izzy has begun sleeping with Mom and me at night. My space is right beside Mom's pillow, so when she tried to venture into my territory, I would emit a low warning growl. She eventually got the message and now has her own spot next to Mom's leg. I think I can live with that. Izzy is pretty cool and she's kinda cute with that tongue hanging out all the time. It's the two big goons that get on my last nerve.

Well, I hope to update my diary more often in the coming year. I miss it here.

I WON!

After months of waiting, it has finally been confirmed that I won a contest to be featured at the end of the Firehouse Dog movie! That's right; my handsome mug will be shown during the closing credits. My big break has finally arrived - woof woof! To think I was worried that Leo's sauciness would win them over, or that Spenser and Chance would sway them with their thick, red coats. I should have had more faith in my cuteness. Look at me now - Hollywood bound! I must get into shape quick in case Speilberg or Oprah come calling!

Life Changes

Hi pals! I know it has been quite some time since mom has helped me update my diary. Too many things going on I guess.

My mansion was disassembled about a week ago and I am now placed in a cage when they leave the house. *gasp* Mom said I had too much room in my mansion, which caused me to have accidents. She was tired of washing the bedding. So far, I am doing well in the crate. I have proven to mom that I can "hold it" all day long! Mom is very proud of me.

Another thing that occurred is that I am now becoming a woman, if you get my drift. Mom says as soon as I am over my "ladies days" I will go to the vet and get spayed. She tries to make it sound like it's no big deal, but I'm not so sure. "Ladies days" are not much fun though!

Happy New Year!

My new year is going pretty well so far. Mom took down the big tree and placed all the tempting ornaments in boxes. I tried to help, but was shooed away each time. I decided to watch the entire spectacle from the safety and comfort of daddy's lap.

Since my mom was away taking care of her mom for new year's, I celebrated with daddy. We watched tv and drank champagne. Actually, daddy drank it and I enjoyed the bubbles on my nose.

Mom is back now and boy how I missed her! She has the softest lap and she plays tennis ball with me until I am exhausted. My eyelids get droopy which causes Daddy to say "I see sand man coming Izzy" and shortly thereafter, I am sound asleep.

HO HO HO! Hum

Hey everybody! It's been a while. Let's see...I'm still waiting for the walking regimen to happen. When the humans start a new year I might have a chance then for a firm, slim bod. Mom says we are just too busy to entertain such ideas at the moment, but starting in 2007, we will work our buns off.

Tonight, mom and dad are having guests over, which means that we will be treated like second class citizens. The guests are not "dog people" whatever that means! Mom will be extra nice to us afterwards and give me more treats than anyone else I bet. Well, a pooch can dream, can't he?

On Christmas Eve we will have mom's kids over. Leo and Callie will be there too! That will make 5 dogs and 6 people. Quite a zoo when we're all together. The great thing about them is that they ALL love dogs - especially us. We get lots of attention and treats. Last party had a few of us canines licking the insides of the wine glasses. Now that was a par-TAY!

Merry Christmas everyone. I love all my pup pals and wish them the best Christmas and New Year!

Merry Christmas Y'all!

During my first year on this planet, I've learned a lot. For one thing the humans get snippy with me when they find poop on the carpet. Somehow they know it belongs to precious little me. Their snippiness intensifies when they discover tee tee. Sorry, but I've got a bladder the size of a grain of rice. What do they expect? When a girl has to go, she's got to go! When possible, I still make my deposits next to the nearest toilet. I think that's pretty considerate, don't you?

Another thing the humans have done lately is to erect a bushy tree - in the living room of all places! Shortly afterwards, mom hung these shiny gold toys on nearly every branch, yet I am not allowed to sniff or touch them. If I go near the dangly things just to sniff, I hear "IZZY! NO!" Then they mutter something about "foreign body surgery". Mom working at the vet place sure puts a damper on my lifestyle.

I've decided that I really like TV. Seriously, I sit on my favorite lap (it changes from day to day) and watch along with my human parents. I've noticed that the shows daddy watches cause him to yell things like "GET HIM! RUN! GO! GO! GO!" Mom watches things that have other animals or music or people that make her face get wet. What is that all about? Hey, I like to lick the tears, so I'm not complaining, just sayin'.

Well, I want to wish all my pup pals the best Christmas evah and a happy, healthy new year!

Obedience Training?

I am now a student at Four Paws Training. This involves a very loud clicking noise followed quickly by a treat. I'm not too sure what I am supposed to be doing, but they keep saying I will figure it out in time. Also, I'm perplexed why I need to be trained since all I do is play with my humans or sleep on their laps.

Mom and I are supposed to practice clicking and treating during the week. Specifically during commercials. My trainer gave mom a softer sounding click since the other one startled me so badly. It was really loud!

My boisterous housemates think that every time mom clicks, they should receive a treat too. Pardon me, but I think they're supposed to do something to earn it first. Humph! I am working my buns off trying to figure out what to do to get the treat and they need to do the same. Fair is fair.

My coat is not coming in very thick for the winter so I am forced to wear clothing. Unfortunately, there is nothing that really fits me properly. The tee shirt I was forced to wear for my first day of class was hanging off of me and didn't do anything to warm me up. It was soooo embarrassing! Mom needs to learn how to sew or look harder for xx-small.

Eureka!

Guess what I figured out? When the humans fail to recognize my signals that I need to perform #2, I run to the nearest toilet and leave my poopies right next to it. This makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Isn't that what the humans use this cold, white contraption for? I believe this exhibits a great deal of intelligence, decorum and resourcefulness on my part. Now, if I could just straddle the seat without falling in and drowing, I might be THE smartest canine anyone ever knew. Besides that, I'd never have to deal with the wet and cold again!

Plugging Along

Mom has come up with a new nickname for me and dare I say it is not very flattering. In fact, I may require therapy soon to deal with the emotional scars. She calls me Rump Roast. Actually, she says, “Come here my little rump roast with legs.” She tries to disguise her insult in that sing-song voice, but she’s not fooling me. T-Bone is a more masculine reference, which I would be more than happy to respond to. But, rump roast? I have decided that I will not respond to that unless she is referring to a large piece of meat cooking on the stove and is about to give me a big juicy taste.

“Exercise” is another word that keeps cropping up in conversation lately. She calls us both pudgy and claims that a good walk around the neighborhood every day will cure our stoutness. So far, all we’ve done is discuss the matter for several days. I am patiently waiting for her to actually open up the cabinet door which houses my leash. If I knew how to open that door, I would take the leash out and bring it to her myself because it appears that we’re going to be in the talking stages for a good while.

Popcorn is the Bomb!

Apparently, it is frowned upon if you jump into a fresh, steaming bowl of popcorn. Yep, dove head first. Mom yelled my name really loudly and then yanked me out tout de suite. It was so warm and smelled oh-so-yummy. What did I do wrong?

Life is Beautiful

Greetings pup pals! I wanted to update everyone on my latest developments – with mom’s help of course.

First, I now weigh a hefty 2¼ pounds! My health and weight are improving every day. More importantly, my sarcoptic mange is clearing up, so there is less scratching. My white coat is getting thicker too, which is a plus.

The horrid vaccine process is almost over. Due to my size I must get vaccines in small increments. Next weekend will be my 4th and last time to undergo this monotonous, painful process. I’m glad my mom knows a doctor who is familiar with extra small puppies. There has been some side talk lately about something called a “spay”, but mom says I have to weigh over 5 pounds before that can happen. If I watch my calories, perhaps I will never have to find out what spaying entails. It doesn’t sound pretty. I think they butcher you. *gasp!*

In other news, my palate has become quite discriminating. I no longer lap things up just because they are waved under my nose. For instance, the bright pink Amoxy medication was palatable a couple of weeks ago, but I was recently prescribed Clavamox, a white liquid, which is intensely bitter. Lately, I have chosen to fight mom and dad on this issue, practically swiveling my head around in a complete circle to avoid the foul concoction. Well, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration. At any rate, they always manage to get it down my throat despite my vehement protests.

I am starting to realize that I don’t have much of a chance fighting these large, strong human parents. I do, however, have a weapon at my disposal that I use as often as possible: my large, black eyes. When I give them the super sad look, I make sure my ears are laid back, which accentuates my eyes. This look has proved successful in almost everything except getting out of taking medicine. It has even afforded me a few tiny morsels of human food. I think Sparky’s big black eyes are what caused him to get so fat, so I’m still weighing whether or not I should employ this pitiful look to get my way where food is concerned. I don’t want to end up looking like a pork roast with legs. Maintaining a girlish figure is of utmost importance.

Okay, this you will not believe: I can run all the way up the stairs by myself. The human parents didn’t even try to coax or teach me. One day, I just decided to go for it. The downfall is, I’m too afraid to come down. When the humans realize I’m missing, mom rounds the corner to look at the top of the stairs. Nine times out of ten she will find me up there waiting to be carried back down. I’m sure I will learn to do this myself eventually, but right now it is a very scary ordeal for me.

In essence, I'm exploring the world, growing by leaps and bounds, and developing a charming personality. One day I hope to be crowned Queen over these other large beasts I am forced to share my domicile with. They're nice enough, but sometimes can be a bit ill-mannered. Chance is least affected by my presence; he just sniffs a lot which can get annoying over time. Spenser barks (shouts) at me if I get too close. It's so loud it practically blows me across the room. Not to mention, it is unnerving to be playing and suddenly get shouted at. Sparky is very tempermental. I never know when he will be receptive to playing with me. That's okay because I will rule this pack one day. Very soon.

Backyard Invasion

I’ve discovered rabbits! A baby bunny rabbit to be precise. The best part is when you put one in your mouth, it squeals. The worst part is when mom runs towards me yelling at the top of her lungs. Only when I knew she was absolutely serious did I let go; however as soon as bunny hit the ground, Chance got it and he would not let go as quickly. Mom kept after him and he finally opened his mouth only to let Spenser get it! Well, Spenser is such a scaredy-cat; he immediately dropped it on the ground after mom yelled at him.

Mom looked like a maniac in the yard. It was quite comical watching her go round and round trying to save the little creature. Thankfully, bunny was only startled. The tiny critter sustained no injuries during the melee. Mom scooped it up into a plastic container and brought it to our dogless neighbor’s yard a few houses down.

Our backyard has never been so exciting! I can’t wait to go out now, even in this brutal Texas heat. In addition to my job guarding Izzy, I now have the added responsibility of keeping our turf free from invaders. Being the alpha dog is exhausting work, I gotta say!

Perils of Puppyhood

My new mom came home late last night smelling like lime mixed with something flammable. Humans sure put weird things in their mouths. It definitely put my smelling receptors in high gear, I tell ya!

After she put her jammies on, we snuggled in front of the computer. I love her silky jammies ‘cause there is a tiny rosebud on there that I like to chew on. Mom was clicking away at her desk with me snuggled in the blanket and before she knew what was happening, I began to choke. Fortunately, the episode lasted less than 2 seconds. Several minutes later, mom looked down and realized that the rosebud was gone. Uh-oh! She was so wrapped up in making her clicking sounds, she didn’t realize I had swallowed part of her jammies. Oops.

Sparky still guards my cage daily. He would guard me at night too, but mom shoos him out of my room. I’ll be glad when I am a big girl and can sleep under the covers with mommy. Sparky will probably hate it, but tough toenails. I am doing everything I can to get stronger and run with the big dogs. Pretty soon, I plan to dominate this motley crew.

A New Contraption

Mom is always bringing home something to complicate my life. This time, she came home with a miniature staircase. Confused? I was too at first, but soon enough her hideous intentions were revealed. Keep reading.

Assembly was required which caused mom’s voice to become irritated and use naughty words. Already, I hated this new thing. Nope, I didn’t want anything to do with an object that put mom in a bad mood. Once she was done, she placed it next to the bed and announced that it was for me. Huh? Little did she know that I had already decided to boycott this piece of............work.

Later that night she crawled into bed and waited for me. I looked at her, then looked at those stairs that she positioned next to the bed. She really expected me to climb that rickety thing to get to her. No thanks; I’ll think of some other way to get in. She coaxed and coaxed, patting the steps with her hand. “C’mon Sparky! Don’t look so sad. This will help you get into bed easier.” Well, what happened to her picking me up and placing me in the bed? That’s what I’d like to know. #@*!?&#!.

Before I knew it, she switched off the light. Oh, the cruelty, the injustice. Once my eyes adjusted, I did what any proud dog would do; I lunged at the bed over and over and over. Finally, mom got tired of hearing me thud against the side of the mattress and picked me up. Ah, sweet relief at last.

I hope I have made my point and will not be forced to go through that exercise again! I love my humans and all, but this is ridiculous!

Nothing Can Keep Me Down

Even though I was diagnosed with a respiratory infection and puppy dermatitis this weekend, it will not deter my mission in life, which is to romp happily from room to room of my new home. Yep, unless you tell people I am sick, they would never know it, except for the congested sound if you get really close.

Daddy asked if there were amphetamines in my antibiotic drops because after I lapped it up, I ran around the house like greased lightning. I even did my play bow gesture to each of the dogs. Spenser responded by emitting a low growl and giving a disgusted look, as if to say he is too mature for my childish games. Whatever! Chance placed his paw on me, very gently, which mom promptly swatted away. Hey mom! I asked him to play! Sparky gave me a sideways glance and proceeded to ignore me. That Sparky is hard to read. He's very protective, yet he doesn't want to play with me. When I get stronger, I am going to turn on all my girlish charms. Mom has also picked out some bling-bling for me to wear around my neck and a pretty pink outfit for when I get bigger. That'll get his attention.

After all my begging to play and running like a banshee around the house, I crashed and burned. I tried to fight sleep, but sleep finally won. I had a really good night's rest, so I can't wait until the humans return home today so I can show off some more.

Little Pink Presents

Today mom said she had to run an errand. Apparently she went shopping because she returned with several bags. Inside were 2 pink doggie beds and pink doggie toys. When she set the beds down to show daddy, I immediately jumped into the softest one and snuggled in. They laughed at me and said, "Sparky, you're too big for that bed and besides it's pink!" Why do I care what color it is?! So, I guess if it's pink, that means it's for Izzy. Yuck! Girls are icky! At least I rubbed my scent all over the new bed so she will be forced to think of me every time she gets in it. And my body fit perfectly in the space no matter what anyone says.

On to more serious matters. Izzy had to go to the doctor yesterday for an upper respiratory problem and something called Puppy Pyoderma, which is a mild skin infection. She had x-rays taken, as well as a thermometer shoved up her tiny bum. Mom said she screamed. Wish I could have been there for that. Hee hee. Izzy is on antibiotics and benedryl for 10 days. Next Saturday she may finally get her vaccines started. Oh, I hope mom will let me be there for that! I so deserve some gloat time.

Mom still calls me her baby and treats me the same as before; however, I no longer have exclusive time with her. I must share with the poopy girl puppy. I mean that literally by the way. She knows to use the newspaper for tee-tee, but she poops anywhere she feels like it. When mom and dad find her little presents, they only say, "Oh Izzy, your poop is smaller than a tootsie roll!" If I poop in the house I get reprimanded. I'm really surprised her poop is not pink.

My life at the moment is so unfair, but I still love my peeps. In the end, we're all part of a tight-knit pack. My main duty is to advise everyone of their place within the pack. This job can be exhausting at times, but someone has to be in charge.

More Izzy Issues

As I suspected, the new creature is taking up most of mom and dad's time. In order to make them aware of my displeasure, I put on the most pathetic face I can muster. All my efforts at protecting IZZY seem to make not a whit of difference to them. She was even given the best privilege of all: being on mom and dad's bed. Spenser tried to jump up and sniff her, so I lunged at him, showing my teeth. He stayed away too, further solidifying my high rank in the pack.

I understand that a small *ahem* dog like Izzy needs more attention than the rest of us. Mom says when she gets bigger, she will not have to spend as much time with her. I hope that is the case because I am quite put out with the entire situation. I'm a patient fellow, but if things don't go back to normal soon, I may have to start acting out. Maybe a pair of shoes will suddenly be destroyed, or the edge of a rug chewed up. I'm sure I can come up with something.

In other news, it is now a new season of Rock Star. Mom is obsessed once again. I'll be so happy when this TV show is over. My ears hurt. Why do humans have to play music so loud? I guess they're just human beings, being human. So glad that I'm a dog.

Cheers all and have a great weekend!

Operation: Izzy

It's now Day 3 of Operation: Guard Izzy. Quietly, yet firmly, I stand by her doorway day and night. I am taking these duties seriously and do not tolerate anything from my subordinates, Spenser and Chance. Izzy is very frail, and it is imperative that she receive top-notch attention. There is nothing that slips past me. I even take my naps right beside her crate, but never fall into a deep slumber. During my waking hours, I sit patiently, waiting for any infractions from my beastly brothers. When mom and dad finally secure her at night, I am relieved of my tasks for the day so that I may rest up for a new day of grueling guard duty.

This is now my life. I have accepted the tiny creature into our home with as much grace as possible. She is quite beautiful and small. Mom says she is a pooch, but I'm still not convinced of her lineage. Perhaps when she gets bigger, I will be convinced that she is truly a canine. Regardless, I am quite smitten with her, I must admit.

Well, off to bed for me. I see that Dogster will be shutting down for maintenance soon, and I need to get this posted before that happens. Nighty-night all my furry friends.

A New Life

Despite a rocky start, I have managed to overcome many obstacles since I was orphaned unexpectedly at one week old. I owe any success I have now and in the future to my foster mom, Amy. She is the nicest lady I could have hoped for, considering my frail beginnings. Before my eyes were even open, she was feeding me through a tube every few hours. When my eyes became infected, she put medicine on them. Now I have gorgeous, bright eyes, and a big fat tummy. Furthermore, I have a new home with 3 big brothers.

It appears that I will receive the same amount of affection, attention and food that I was receiving from Miss Amy. I also have my own bedroom here with a large pen that my new mom calls "Queen Izzy's Palace". This new palace of sorts has afforded me my own bathroom facilities consisting of newspaper on one end. After only one night, I figured out this set up all on my own. Mom was so surprised and happy to see that I used the newspaper for the purpose it was intended.

One of my brothers, Sparky, has appointed himself my guardian. He protects me and my food in an almost obsessive way. I'm getting suspicious of the food guarding though. What is his ulterior motive? I know I'm still very young, but I don't think the Science Diet bag needs protection. Hmmm....

As soon as I am able, I will update my new friends on my new life. Cheers!

The Intruder

The unthinkable finally happened. Mom accepted the new chi baby into our pack last night. I keenly observed that she arrived with a brand new bag of food. As you can imagine, the scent was overpowering. I parked myself by that delicious smelling bag most of the evening until mom moved it into the pantry. What a party pooper!

I have forgiven the lady who brought her to us because she came with food. A multitude of sins can be forgiven when food is somehow involved. If we have to tolerate this new critter, I hope she will share her grub with me.

This incredibly tiny creature has its own bedroom. I am beginning to worry that she will eventually take over our entire domicile. I fear a full scale invasion, but I am reserving judgment until I get to know her more. You know what they say: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer".

In the meantime, I have appointed myself Izzy's guardian. Every time Spenser and Chance go near her, I show my teeth and growl. Mom calls me "guard dog extraordinaire" whatever that means. I have drawn an invisible barrier around Izzy and I have dared anyone (except mom and dad) to cross it. I am pack leader after all, and it is my duty to preserve and protect the young and weak in our midst.

Dogster Rocks!

Well, I must say I am so honored to be a Dogster Daily Diary pick! Thanks y'all! I try to keep our doggie pals updated as much as possible, with mom's help, of course. This is a wonderful forum for anyone even slightly obsessed with their dogs.

There have been rumors and grumbling amongst the pack that mom is considering bringing another chi into our midst. A poopy girl puppy at that! Well, I'm mama's baby, and always will be. Just so we're all clear on this matter, okay? We just got rid of Leo too! What can she be thinking? Well, my status as leader of this group will remain unchanged. I intend to make that known right away.

I will keep you all posted on this dreadful situation. Please keep me in your doggie prayers.

Sniffs & wags,
Sparky

Web Site Updates

My mom's friend has a new web site for her dog training business. It's Four Paws Training School. If you live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, and you find yourself in need of training services, I would highly recommend calling her. Mickey has been training dogs since 1974.

Not much is going on in Texas right now except for this scorching hot weather. We try to stay inside as much as possible to avoid the feeling of entering intense flames. Step outside here and you'll get a glimpse of Hades real quick. It ain't pretty!